Him: Saba7iya mbarka ya 3arousa.
(Greeting usually offered to brides on the morning after the wedding.)
Him: Ya kharabi 3ala hi. Eh nayma?
(My God the way you say hi. What were you asleep?)
Him: Wi kaman mish nayma?Bti3mili eh min waraya?
(Not asleep?Then what are you up to(behind my back)?)
Me(With a glance at my companions): Ana fi elshari3.(I'm out.)
Him: Ya nhar abooki iswid. Kaman fi elshari3?(Oh my God. You're in public?)
Me: And I'm not alone.
Him: Aiwa. Meen ba2a illy ma3aki?(Ok who are you with?)
Me: D, M & S.
Him: Wana ish 3arafni?(How do I know?)
Me: Ti7ib tkalimhum?(Would you like to speak to them?)
Then before he has time to answer I give the phone to my friends who take turns speaking to him. When the phone comes back to me:
Him: Lazim ya3ni tikhribi bait ahli?This is a long distance call.
(He's asking if I had to cost him so much by making him speak to all these people.)
Me: Sub7anallah. Inta illy tisa'al ish 3arafni?
(I thought you wanted to be sure who am with.)
Him: Tab3an mish batamin?
(Of course. I have to be sure.)
Me: La La tkhaf. Sharafak bilhifz wilson.
(Don't worry. Your honor is in good hands.)
Him: Wadi7. Bi-amarit manti btinzili timshili fi elshari3 winti say7a 3ala roo7ik kida.
(Sure I can see that. From the way you walk around in public sounding so ready for it.)
Me: I'm not....what you said!
Him: Gayez ana biyitahay'li wallahu a3lam.
(Maybe I'm imagining things.)
Me: Aiwa inta fhimtni ghalat.
(Yes you misunderstand me.)
Him: Ana dayman kida bazlimik ma3aya.
(Yes I always have the wrong idea about you.)
Me: 7aram 3laik. Allah ghalib.
(This is 7aram.You should fear Allah.)
Him: Khalas madam inti bit2ooli fi el7ifz wilson.
(Ok if you say it's in good hands.)
Me: Bas la tita'akhar 3lay.
(But come back quickly.)
Him(laughing): Nizam ya til7a2ni ya matil7a2neesh.
(You mean I'll save you (from committing adultery) only if am fast enough. It's touch & go. )
Me: 3laik noor. Waqad a3zara man anzar.
(You got it right. You can't say you haven't been warned.)
Him: La inti kida 3adaki el3aib.Bas 3ashan khatri tib2i tshidi 7ailik shwiya in public. Mish fi kol 7ita wala 3ala ay 7ad mayastik di.
(I know. You did your part. You warned me.)
Him: Yi7adar lik elkhair.
Him: Ya na3am.
Me: Allah yikhaleek la tita'akhar. Ana mish zayak. Ma ta3awadt a3eesh wa7di.
(Please don't be late. I'm not like you. I'm not used to living alone.)
Him: Ya 7abibti. Inti bitkhafi?
(Do you get scared?)
Me: I don't know. Maybe. A little.
Him: Ana ma2darshi ata'akhar 3laiki. Bas 3ala ma arga3 kalimi 3amik wala 7ad min su7abik yeegi yibat ma3aki.
(I'll be back as soon as I can. But in the meantime ask your uncle or one of your friends to sleep over.)
Me: Maybe I will.
Him: Omal inti bitsafri liwa7dik ezay?
(How come you travel alone?)
Me: 7abibi it's always with people. And I always have a roommate.