Monday
Him: What are you doing here?
Me: Waiting.
Him:Why?
Me: Because this is the waiting room.
Him: It says Patient Waiting Room. Mish kuli man hab wa dab.
Me: Maybe I'm here for a consultation.
Him: Do you have an appointment?
Me: No what I have is a feeling that you're going to squeeze me in somehow.
Him: I think you're a little over-dressed for a visit to the dentist.
Me: Not this dentist.
Him: I can't stand here flirting with you. I'm working.
Me: This is your idea of flirting?
Him: What would you call it?
Me: Pulling teeth. For your information, when flirting it's customary to smile - which is what I've been desperately trying to get you to do for the last few minutes.
Him(finally smiling): What do I have to smile about?
Me: Am here all dressed up & ready to take you somewhere nice for dinner.
Him: That top is supposed to make me smile?
Me: What's wrong with it?
Him: No the question is where is it?I don't see it. Ok I see two sleeves. I think you forgot to bring the rest of your top.
Me: You see what happens when you dump me?Ba'ata3 hidoomi.
Him: Ana bardu illy I dumped you?Inti illy 3ayza tsafri wi tsebeeni.
Me: One of these days I hope you will give me a chance to explain.
Him: Itla3i min dimaghi dilwa'ati. 3andi shugl.
Me: Ok am waiting.
Him: Mashi ya magnoona.Give me 20 min.
Later over dinner:
Him: This is very nice.Thanks for coming by.
Me: And?
Him: And you look beautiful. Very sexy.
Me: Yeah flatter me. I love it.
Him: It's not flattery. It's true. I'm sure you know it. A woman always knows when she looks sexy.
Me: Well I had to get your attention somehow. You've been neglecting me.
Him: The last thing you need to worry about is getting my attention. I think you get too much of it as it is.
Me: You were away for 10 days.You come back, we have one day together and you're yelling at me. Then you ignore me for 3 days.
Him: Tab bas bas ata3ti albi.
Me: And you knew I was sick. Half-killed myself getting out of bed to see you on Thurs & Friday. Tab yakhi isa'al. Salamtek, Allah yir7amik wala get well soon.
Him: I sense a change of tactics. First you flirt, now you're guilt-tripping me. I think I liked the first one better.
Me: So you don't think you need to feel guilty about anything?
Him: Let me ask you that question.
(Was getting a bit frustrated here. He's so stubborn. Won't give an inch.)
Me: For not telling you what you think I should have told you?
Him: Yes.
Me: No I don't feel guilty. I had my reasons.
Him: Such as?
Me: I didn't want you to feel pressured to make a decision before you're ready. I don't think that love should have deadlines.
Him: But we do have a deadline. And you knew about it & I didn't. You knew what you were getting into & I didn't. Is that fair?
Me: That's not how I see it. I thought it would be unfair to you not to give you your time.
Him: You don't have the time to give me. And you're not being honest with yourself. Is it that you didn't want me to feel pressured or that you were afraid that if I knew I would pressure you & you're afraid to commit?
Me: I don't see December as the end of the world.
Him: Ok let me make one thing very clear. I don't do long-distance relationships. Been there, done that. It's difficult & frustrating for everyone involved & it's just not an option as far as I'm concerned.
Me: Will you stop putting words in my mouth?Did I say anything about a long-distance relationship now?
Him: Ana asif. Tell you what. I'll just shut up. You wanted me to listen to you. Fine. I'm listening.
Me: Do you have any idea how intimidating your whole attitude is?This feels more & more like an interrogation every minute.
Him: I don't mean to be intimidating. But I really don't like surprises of this type. I need stability in my life. And that can't happen if you keep secrets or if you make me feel you don't know what you want.
Me: Ok I'm going to try one more time to explain this to you. Hopefully without interruption?
Him: Itfadali.
Me: December is the date my family will be leaving. It is also the last date by which I have to be available for the position in Morroco. However that doesn't mean it's the date I will be leaving. I will leave in one case & one case only - if you & I are not together anymore. If the time comes to make these decisions & we still feel the same about each other & you want me to stay I'll make arrangements to stay. Without going into details.
Him: La ma3laish I've had enough of being in the dark. I want to know details law sama7ti.
Me: 7abibi I can't tell you because I haven't thought everything out yet. There is still time. My whole family is not leaving in December. My uncle & his family will still be here. Can stay with them for a while until we decide what to do. And I have my job. My company can sponsor me. The point is I don't have to leave in December. And we don't have to decide yet.
Him:How long would you say we have?
Me: Visa transfer will take about a month so probably I should apply in October if am staying.
Him: And your parents?They have no objection?
Me: My parents?No why would they object?They know am trying to decide between my job here & my job there. They don't know about you yet but now my brother knows so I'd say it's a matter of time before they find out. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Like we did with my bro.
Him: Do you always procrastinate & leave everything to work itself out at the last minute?
Me: Yeah procrastination is my philosophy in life. Guess it's not yours huh?
Him: No it's not to tell you the truth.
Me: Still mad at me?
Him: Not mad. Confused. I still don't see why you couldn't tell me all this before.
Me: Because I don't want you feeling a sense of obligation to marry me before December. There. I said it. Happy?
He laughed at that. And the mood lifted thank God. My nerves were at breaking point.
Him: And what if I want to marry you before December?
Me: Then I wanted you to ask me on your own without being pressured.
Him: Inti do you want to marry me before December?
Me: 7abibi I love you. I really do but please don't make me answer that now.
Him: Ya gabana.
But he was smiling. And I was happy. So completely relieved. We didn't really talk about anything serious or important after that. I think we were both ready for a break. Just flirting, picking on each other, dancing, enjoying the food etc....
Didn't get home til pretty late though. Been pushing it with my parents. Have to start coming home at a reasonable hour.
Wonder if we get married, would we still go out & have evenings like this together?
posted by LouLou @ 10:59 PM
31 Comments:
If I may, you have the art of flirting mastered -- I would feel, the same, frustrated and helpless, if this has to filter to me -thru valleys and mountains- across continents.
Zoss,
It took a lot of nerve but drastic situations require drastic measures.And he wouldn't respond to anything else.
sounds like you did a good job, loul. Nothing beats showing up! a weapon that shouldnt be used with cautious.
I am sure he was very appreciative (but I don't want to get ahead of the events -- waiting to hear about the rest of the day)
What I wanted to say is, if I put myself in his shoes, I wouldn't want to be segregated from this (your) presence. My reaction would carry a hint of something similar to that of a kid who's about to get a shot in the arm -- you know, the cringing and the lip-biting in expectation of an imminent painful experience. Of course there are things to be figured out, but the image of the needle in the doctor's hand overshadows most other thoughts.
That was brave.
You are amazing, Lou! I think I should learn a few things about tactics from you...
What the..... LOul, Com'on girl finish the thing one shot! :)))
"What I wanted to say is, if I put myself in his shoes, I wouldn't want to be segregated from this (your) presence. My reaction would carry a hint of something similar to that of a kid who's about to get a shot in the arm -- you know, the cringing and the lip-biting in expectation of an imminent painful experience. Of course there are things to be figured out, but the image of the needle in the doctor's hand overshadows most other thoughts."
I like this image though. It's funny & cute & very, very appealing.
haal,
It's been frustrating for me too. I like to get conversations down as fast as possible while they're still fresh in my mind.
But what to do?Sleep, work, unbeatable forces. Bear with me:)
WOnderful. Very sweet. Yeah, girl. Marry him before december! Yay!!
Glad all went fine.
Yeah, marry the guy asap! :) Really glad it's all settled!
Ahhhh....l'amour. It's a pain in the arse sometimes. But I'm glad that it seems to have worked out for now. :-)
i think these last three days were actually great because it opened up a new stage in your relationship, and i think the both of you would feel closer after it.
Kayla,
Tactics are really easy. Men can't resist us you know. We're their weakness:)
haal, km, kayla,
Thanks for all the support. Love you guys:)
But then I love just about anything right now:)
Remind me never, ever, EVER keep anything from him again.If anyone hears me even thinking aloud about doing it again please you have my permission to KICK me.
Today I got another lecture about secrets & being open & it didn't stop until I basically promised to report every single breath etc...He wasn't kidding when he said he didn't like secrets.
How are we supposed to be the mysterious sex if we aren't allowed our little secrets?
doshar,
It's great now but I wouldn't want to go through the last few days very often. Seriously this was like giving birth.
haal,
Sorry no 'melaya laf or slipper or original tashleee'ih ...!'
Saving it for the next time I get desperate:)
"Wonder if we get married, would we still go out & have evenings like this together? "
Yes even better than that :)
Good for you! I had a teacher who used to always used to say "Never wait for a thing to turn up .. go and turn it up for yourself !" Glad things went well...
The refrence to long distance relationships reminds me of something I wrote at the time of my first such experience -- I am not sure what I would think now.
How would you feel about such situation, Loulou? (That is, of course, if you don't mind me asking.)
Zoss,
Absolutely beautiful. What you wrote I mean(7abibi).
Don't know how I would feel about a long distance relationship. Never experienced that. Don't have as definite an opinion as his.
Would you agree with him?That it's difficult & frustrating?
Loulou; back when I wrote what I wrote, I did not feel frustrated except in as much as longing manifests as frustration -- and it does at times. It was difficult, but bearable. It wasn't the only long-distance relationship I've had (so in a way you can say that it wasn't a formidable experience), but it was definitely the one I cared about the most.
As I mentioned before, I'm not sure what my attitude would be now -- depends on the situation, I guess. One thing I'm sure of (as sure as one can be about hypothetical situations) -- if a choice is presented where one has to choose between temporary physical separation and an enduring spiritual one, I know what my choice would be.
K seems to be for me like a typical Egyptian guy , the way you narrates how he speaks makes me feel like he is raised with us :)
and yeah a typical dentist
See, it worked... Both your Charm & your Compassion.. Great Stuff..Masterful...
But it was "Courage" that really did it... But wait, they say "Courage" is coming from French for an act that takes alot of & is full of Hearts "Cour..."? ( Me no French)...
Heart Full of Love or rather the "courage of love" is what pulled you through...
March on & good luck.
masraya,
Always happy to have you around here. Loved your comment on the Mecca topic. Very intelligent & well-informed. Made me think that was how I should have posted about it in the first place:)
roora,
All this talk of typical Egyptians is getting a bit confusing:)
What is a typical Egyptian in your opinion?
zoss,
Yes it would have to depend on the situation. How long a seperation would be a big factor.
For me I think the reason for the seperation would also be important. If you feel that your Significant Other chose seperation when it could have been otherwise that might not be easy to accept I think. It would then be a question of what their priorities are wouldn't it?
When you know that it is something inevitable at play then it becomes easier because neither side is blaming the other or feeling insecure in the relationship.
If I may ask, the relationship that you said was the one you cared about the most, why is that in the past tense?Seems to me that a relationship that can survive physical seperation together with the sentiments expressed in your posts(7abibi) should have a pretty solid base.
Sharief,
"But it was "Courage" that really did it"
Yes. Never thought I had it in me to tell you the truth. To swallow my pride, risk rejection, appear light-hearted when am worried & resentful & not lose my temper in the face of apparent initial rejection.
i dont know but if you didnt say that he is egyptian , the way he talks and kids with you is some how familiar with egyptian men here, it is obvious from little comments
roora,
Haven't noticed any difference between the way he talks & the way other Egyptians I know talk.
Doesn't surprise me though. I grew up here myself but I can't speak the local Arabic. I speak the dialect we use at home & that I pick up from the North Affrican community here & also from my visits back home. Guess it's the same for him.
Me & him tend to speak English together mostly but I'm the reason for that. My Arabic is a mix of Morrocan & Algerian & not easy to understand. So when talking to non-Morrocans/non-Algerians I use English. He uses a lot more Arabic than me. I understand him of course but feel more comfortable answering in English most of the time.
LouLou;
"If I may ask, the relationship that you said was the one you cared about the most, why is that in the past tense?Seems to me that a relationship that can survive physical seperation together with the sentiments expressed in your posts(7abibi) should have a pretty solid base."
I don't know exactly why; I could give you one reason or another, but it probably doesn't matter anyway. We have moved on; we have become good friends. We correspond regularly, and at one point, I received a poem that, I believe, might suggest an answer to your question.
(sorry for the late reply, I was digging up the poem)
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