The Jazz Bar
And so it was the Jazz Bar last night. Went with 10 people. 2 girlfriends & their husbands, one friend(F.) & his wife, 2 male friends(S. & W.), & one girl & one guy I don't know but who are obviously going out together or something.
We had our dark corner. A compartment with 3 huge couches on each wall & two tables & 2 chairs infront of each couch.
Everyone knows how it is with couples. Physically they are within the group but they end up talking & dancing with each other & living in their own world. So I ended up with the two single guys. Me on the couch, them on the two chairs.
Spent the first 30 min or so in silence. Was enjoying the music & trying to relax without smoking although I did bring my pack just incase. Wasn't really listening to them. Kept giving them blank faces everytime they talk to me. Couldn't really relax. So in the end I gave up & decided to have my first cigarette of the day.
Instant effect. After not smoking all day, I guess the cigarette made me relax too much. And the atmosphere too. Half dark, nice music. Basically I fell asleep sitting there on the couch. Was out for something like 15 min. Then I open my eyes & find S. & W. laughing their heads off at me. So I started laughing too.
The two of them immediately started teasing me about K. being away & having withdrawal symptoms, saying I should come on cheer up it was only a week. Then they moved on to flirting outrageously & everytime I would be shocked they would tell me that they know K. is away & what I need is male attention & they're just trying to be good friends making sure I have everything I need etc...
S. is Egyptian & W. is Lebanese so somewhere along the road they got into an argument about who were the bigger flirts Egyptian men or Lebanese men. They started trying to outdo each other - the target being me - flirting, fighting over who gets to sit next to me or to light my cigarette, or get my drink, blowing me kisses
At first it was really cute & funny. Thought it was sweet of them to try to make me laugh.
But at some point they got completely out of hand. Don't know what was wrong with me. Too sleepy?Too depressed to get into a fight over small things?Too high on nicotine & caffaeine & nerves?Just couldn't be bothered. It was a public place. They weren't going to actually touch me or anything so who cares.
Then F. sent me sms asking if I was baskar 3aree7a.Made me laugh but when I looked at him he didn't look happy so I guess he wasn't joking. Then one of my girlfriends sent me sms that she wants to talk to me in the bathroom. So I went in there & she let me have it using every Syrian curse you can imagine. Lik el3amma sho mastooola allah yakhdik. My favorite Syrian/Lebanese word is 'Lik El3amma' btw. Use it all the time. But I didn't like it at that particular moment. In that particular context. She was going on about how I was letting the guys get away with too much & now I'll never be able to control them again etc....Just walked out on her. Couldn't be bothered with that either.
So I got the message. People weren't happy. Don't know why everyone was picking on me & not on the guys.But it wasn't worth trying to figure it out. Came back from the bathroom & went to sit with my other friend & her husband.Playing fifth wheel appeared to be the order of the day.
This morning another fight with my Syrian friend who called me at work. It seems she thinks the worst thing I did last night was fall asleep on the couch. She doesn't think I looked decent at all. She went on about my attitude & my body language having been all wrong & sending mixed signals etc...that if I was too tired to go out & take care of myself I should've stayed home etc...Am trying to accept criticism here but she did get more than a bit harsh. Think she was angry because her husband said something about me & she doesn't want her husband to get a bad impression about her friends. Especially since am Morrocan & Morrocan girls don't have the best reputation in UAE. But she didn't actually say that.
To cut off the tirade I asked her what she thinks I should do now. She said I should get my bro to beat the guys up. Thank God she was joking about that!Apparently she thinks I should have a talk with the guys & tell them they were out of line & force them to apologize & not mix with them for a while. All of which I'll agree to. Just not today. Not feeling up to it at all.
Infact I got 2 missed calls from S. but didn't pick up. Tomorrow I'll call him & tell him what she said. Or maybe the day after tomorrow.
Am vaguely aware that I probably didn't behave very well last night. Am sorry for embarrassing my friend infront of her husband. But why doesn't any of this seem terribly important?
She's right. I am mastoola. After my great social success last night I think that from now I'll just go out on my own. If I go out at all.
Labels: Friends
posted by LouLou @ 5:15 PM
17 Comments:
maybe k's absence is throwing you a bit off balance after all :)
Gilgamish,
"and i dislike it, when people make you feel guilty when you have not done anything wrong."
Well people have different definitions for what is wrong don't they?Usually when someone tells you you did something wrong it's because you stepped on their toes somehow. Don't really want to be stepping on my friend's toes so I try to be accomodating as much as possible.
It does seem a bit unfair that no one says anything to the guys though.
doshar,
"maybe k's absence is throwing you a bit off balance after all :) "
Throwing me off balance wi bass?:)
Actually it's not just his abscence. It's worrying about the relationship, worrying about moving away, worrying about a lots of things. It's a very critical time in my life. Lots of big decisions. Very scary. Lots of things on my mind. Doesn't leave you room for dealing with the background noise of life.
But when he was here he knew how to calm me down. At least when I go out & he's there I enjoy myself. Now I get these short phone calls & he always has people around him so I can't tell him anything important.
From my perspective it's just not a good time for him to go away.But what to do?His parents & all his siblings, nieces, nephews are in Cairo. Apparently they don't all get together in the same country very often. He hasn't seen one of his sisters in 2 years & he hasn't seen his parents since last year. So what could I say?
Even if he decides to stay longer I still can't complain. But I hope he won't.
My frank opinion is that you are taking it further than it should actually. Forget about the social attitude, this is not even important to me at least. What is important that you seem to 'enjoy' worrying about the relation, even if u have all the good reasons. 'elnaseeb hay seeb', meaning what is destined will be happen.
Just relax and dont be insecure or worrying too much. As Mo and my brother tell me, just be light. and please if K. calls, dont open improtant stuff or conversations or anything with him. not the time for sure, especially whne u are stressed out. let him enjoy and try to enjoy urself too. not to go out to places u dont want, but be comfortable with the stage u are at.
i see this time K. is away as a good time to reflecting on oneself and see what's there. maybe write down points and play with it. sometimes when things are on paper, they are in its real dimensions and not blown out of propotion as our minds used to do.
Good luck LOul!!
haal,
Good advice as usual:)Thanks.
"let him enjoy and try to enjoy urself too."
Yeah am trying not to ruin his holiday. Don't say anything. If he asks I say am fine & having fun.
"not to go out to places u dont want, but be comfortable with the stage u are at."
Right again. Don't really feel like socializing. Want to be by myself. Tried really hard to get excited about Friday. Bought something new, spent ages getting ready etc...But in the end, my heart just wasn't in it.
Like Gilgamish was saying, when you go out with people they expect you to be socially aware, involved. Am only fit company for myself these days.
"As Mo and my brother tell me, just be light."
Good advice too. Hope you're following it.
Be light :), no I am not always following actually. Trying though.
haal,
"Be light :), no I am not always following actually. Trying though."
Yeah life would be so much easier if you could follow all the good advice you get no?
We can only try.
Can't tell from your last post if you're still waiting or not. The mood is a bit dark. The choice of poetry I mean.
But at least you're over Angham:)
But if you are hope your waiting will have the end you wish for soon. Rabena yi3awad sabrik khair:)
Loulou,
I think your friend may be too pushy really. You were tired you slept geeeeeeez! if I was there I would say "Ya haram ya loulou she is too tired" :)
As for the guys joking around, I would say guys are guys they will joke around and I think when you are tired you don't feel like arguing and bossing people around.
As for K. :) you should listen to Sheriene Ahmed song "betwe7ashny" she has a rare version of it on Oud :)
No the line of quote I read and I loved it. It is not a personal thing at all. I should know better than that.
Waiting, well, not really. Things are getting better thanks god. And the point is, there are things that are more important, more positive than waiting. I realized that waiting is not the best situation in my case. It helped but there should be a composed move, and it worked with me. Grace a the waiting period though.
haal,
"Things are getting better thanks god."
Wow cool. What worked better than waiting if I may ask?
Twosret,
"I think your friend may be too pushy really."
You know I only started going out clubbing & coming home late after I came back from the States. Before that it was taboo. So when my parents wanted to object I told them they shouldn't worry because I have friends who act like parents:)
It's true. Some of my friends are sooo old-fashioned. They make issues out of things my parents wouldn't even have noticed.
But it's all good. We're a mixed group from many different backgrounds. Some of us are more liberal than others. Comes with the territory.
Told the guys they should be more careful when there are people around who might conceivably misunderstand the situation & think am actually having an affair with the two of you or something. And they were really sweet & apologetic about it. Wouldn't hear of me blaming myself, insisting it was all their fault, they were being stupid etc...Perfect gentlemen. I knew they were harmless.
lol@"an afair with the two of you or something" :) actually you made me laugh when I read that your friend sent you a message on your phone to see her in the bathroom.
I didn't think the Jazz bar was clubbing. I was actually looking forward to hear about the music they played but I guess you were snoozing :) just kidding!
I'm glad all is good and the guys will behave from now on :)
I would include two gay guys in the next outing this way you are on the safe side :) they are fun and really harmless.
Twosret,
"I didn't think the Jazz bar was clubbing."
Anything that involves leaving the house after 10pm & coming home after they've gone to bed my parents consider clubbing:)
"I was actually looking forward to hear about the music they played but I guess you were snoozing :) just kidding!"
I was snoozing:) The regular house band at the Jazz Bar is called Southern Glow. Six-piece live band 2 Americans, 3 Brits & one Asian-American who is a great drummer but who shouldn't try singing in my opinion. They are pretty good. The lead singer is a lady. She has a great voice & can do anything from Nat Cole King to Billie Holiday to Sarah Vaughan. She also takes requests. Asked for Aretha Franklin once & I thought it was pretty well done for Abu Dhabi.
But every month or so they have a Jazz Band visiting from abroad for few nights so that's not to be missed.
It's a place to sit & listen to music more than to dance though. Not a lot of space for dancing. But some people still do it:)
The food is great. Lots of variety. International cuisine. You find Lebanese, Chinese, Indian, Mexican, Italian etc...Nice menu but then I guess it IS the Hilton.
It's right next door to Hemmingway's - which is the place to go for Latin music & Latin food. Quite nice too when not full of loud, drunk Brits. Honestly I don't want to generalize but do the British think they're violating some kind of treaty if they don't drink everything aloholic in the building?
Ok end of review.
Thanks for the review Loulou. I haven't been to a British Pub for so long so I can't tell you. I visited England two times in the past two years but,was pregnant last two times I went. I couldn't be in any place that allows smoking (you can say that the streets and musems were the only Places I enjoyed).
I started going to Jazz bars here in the US in the past 5 years. Enjoyed it very much, so sad to see how this music is underplayed in modern days.
Abu Dahbi sounds very multi culture I like that :)
Being light :) works better! And seinding a nice, simple msg saying 'I love you'
"Being light :) works better! And seinding a nice, simple msg saying 'I love you' "
Ok so haal no longer recommends waiting:)Am happy you have good news.
Twosret
Abu Dahbi sounds very multi culture I like that :)"
Well this is a country where the foreign expatriate workers outnumber locals. You meet people here from places you never heard of. Like Micronesia. Never heard of that country til I asked a waitress at a cafe where she was from & she told me.
Abu Dhabi is multicultural but it's nothing compared to Dubai. Abu Dhabi is the political capital. Dubai is the business & tourism & cultural one. Abu Dhabi is practically floating in oil. They're too rich to work too hard trying to find alternative sources of income like tourism. Dubai has little oil so they have to make up for it.
Everytime I go to Dubai on a visit I come back without having been everywhere I wanted to go. Never enough time.
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