Saturday, July 30, 2005

Things I Never Wrote About in My Diary

1)Things that made me so angry that I couldn't write anything printable about them. Don't like to put profanities in writing even if I use them occasionally when talking. Always thought of writing as something elegant & refined.

2)Things am really, really ashamed of. Not embarrassed. Can write about embarrassment. Shame is something else, deeper & more profound.

3)Things that shock me but are so ugly I refuse to accept them. Writing about them might take away some of the shock, make them more ordinary. Don't want to get used to some things. Don't want to slowly come to accept them.

4)Money issues. My parents think it's vulgar & low-class to talk about your money problems with anyone outside the family. Or to borrow money. Even if you desperately need it & you're only borrowing for a short time. It's ridiculous how intimate & embarrassing this has become to me. If someone asks to borrow from me I get so embarrassed that sometimes I'll say yes just to get out of the situation - even if I can't afford it.Can't picture explaining that I can't afford it.

5)My first doubts about God & Faith. When those first started to happen couldn't talk, write, even think about them for years. Couldn't admit them to myself. That has changed now.

10 Comments:

Blogger roora said...

hi loulou, no these are the typical stuff that i wirte in my diary

thanks God, i have very close people that i can really share with them any inner thoughts from the family and my best friends.

but yet there are some naieve thoughts that i know that i share once or twice before with my best friend or my sis and i need to get it out again, i find it best in writing.

Sometimes also when i want to face myself with some thoughts and they are really hidden inside and i want to face myself , i write and it is really turning good.

BTW, i just recognized you are like me libra , u r in october then like me

7/30/2005 02:18:00 PM  
Blogger doshar said...

your diary is only between you and yourself, even more private than this blog. you can sure right anything you need. i understand when something makes me very angry, i feel like writing, but i usually can't because my thoughts come out too quick for me to write. the handwriting is almost never readable later. better have a verbal outburst!


there are things that i can't put into writing sometimes, because i might be ashamed of even thinking them , so i feel i have an excuse by having no hand in what is in my head, but if i write it down, am i going a step furthur?

7/30/2005 03:36:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

roora,

"BTW, i just recognized you are like me libra , u r in october then like me."

Yeah am in October too.On the 23rd.Last Libra day.

7/30/2005 06:36:00 PM  
Blogger roora said...

really , i am in october 22 . i thought this was the last day of libra , then it is not:)

7/31/2005 03:25:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...

sabah elkair ya roora,

"really , i am in october 22 . i thought this was the last day of libra , then it is not:)"

Libra is supposed to be Sept 24-Oct 23 as far as I know.

7/31/2005 07:28:00 AM  
Blogger Twosret said...

Libra here too :) I never read about signs and have no clue if it really makes a difference.

8/01/2005 09:06:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...

Twosret,

Cool join the Libra club:)

8/01/2005 12:30:00 PM  
Blogger Alina said...

I'm not a libra, but am dating a Libra...Can I join the club?

I sometimes think too much about certain things before actually writing it in my diary (sort of, it's a mix of private thoughts and quotes of what I read at the time...) and when I get to putting it down, I feel that the subject is all worn off. If that doesn't happen, I really write about everything in my diary.

8/01/2005 02:30:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

"I'm not a libra, but am dating a Libra...Can I join the club?"

Sure Kayla the more, the merrier:)Bring him along too.

8/01/2005 02:54:00 PM  
Blogger Alina said...

OK, I will try! :))

8/02/2005 03:46:00 PM  

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