Monday, August 15, 2005

Fairly Typical Day

It's really strange the amount of time I spend sitting around the clinic where he works. I finish work at 4:30pm. He works evenings until 8:30pm usually. It would have made sense to simply meet him after work but somehow that's not the pattern we've fallen into.

Usually I'll get there around 7:00pm. Right after Maghreb. Don't know why I do that. Guess I just gravitate to the place where he is.

It's not like I even see him. I hang around the waiting room with my book. Or I chat with his colleagues. I've become such good friends with the receptionist, the nurses & the other doctors. Even his boss - the head of the department will sometimes stop & talk to me.When he's in surgery, I sometimes find myself waiting with the patient's family & getting into all sorts of conversations with them. He was saying once that it's amazing the way I can tell him things about his patients he never knew. Probably because he doesn't socialize with them as much as I do.

On rare occasions, when one of his appointments is late or there is a cancellation & no one is waiting, he will have time to take me upstairs to the staff cafeteria for a drink. But that doesn't happen very often.

The odd thing is it's not like I have nothing else to do. Have just fallen into the habit of scheduling my social life to start with his. When friends call & want to meet up I always choose the time after 8:30pm so he & I can meet them together. My girlfriends complain that we don't have girl's nights out anymore. And he complains that we don't spend enough time alone together. Not making anyone happy am I?

After he gets off work he wants to go home to shower & change. Usually I'll wait for him in the carpark downstairs. Or I'll drive around. But I won't go anywhere without him. Don't feel like it.

Then we go out in his car. At night we go back so I can pick up my car to go home.
Now that I look at all that in the cold, clear light of day it seems a bit inconvenient. The only reason I can think of for why we do things like that is that we try to stay together as long as possible. He likes to joke that we are living together.

Why am I thinking about it now?Today my friend D. passed by K.'s building & she saw my car parked there. So she called & she told me ya 7abibti you're not married yet. You're not even engaged. This is a small city. People know you & him & they know you are together. And he lives alone. Do you think it's a good idea for your car to be seen parked there so often?Why not just meet him outside?

Don't really care what people say but I do feel bad for my parents. It's the stupid way Arabs of have of saying so-and-so's daughter did this or that. As a woman I have no existence as an individual in this culture do I?

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9 Comments:

Blogger roora said...

Loulou,
i think your friend is right, we should care about what people says to a limit. for example , my best friend used to claim that she wants to go home early for the doorman will think f her badly and that will effect her reputation , !! well i didnt agree about that because there is difference in culture and the way of thnking, but here your friend and the people in your city of the same level of education and same culture percieves it un- nicely , especially the parking thing under his home.

it wont make much difference if you met him after 8 30 outside , wont make much difference , you will still meet him

tell him what you friend told you and see his opinion

8/15/2005 07:32:00 AM  
Blogger doshar said...

hi loul. been reading your post and am a bit concerned. not about the image thing, that i will get to in am minute, about how your schedula revolves around his


it is important to have your space, both of you, in the long run you will lose alot of your entity like this. i was once in a close position to yours, and with a dentist, so i am familiar with the hanging around the clinic thing. i understand it feels good to be around. it is the second best to being with him. but you need to maintain your friends and social life independent of him. it will give you both less headaches later, esp. if there is a time when he wants space shewayya and it is very normal for guys to want some space from time to time. you will have your other life to live AND enjoy as well.

here is a suggestion, why don't you meet up with your friends from 7 till 9, when he is done and ready to see you, and then you can see him alone or with your friends, what ever you want.

he will be happier, your friends will be happier, and ISA so will you.

about the image, i do know that in abudhabi, the city is small and word can go round, and it is not really worth it. for what? you are just in the car anyway. and we should netakki el shobohat shewayya, even if you would have no problem , as you said, other poeple who care about you would.

8/15/2005 12:44:00 PM  
Blogger Mohamed said...

I actually agree with your friend D too. You don't want people talking about you.

But you have to be innovative, you know. Why don't you use a bike instead. That way no one will see your car parked at his building. What do you think? hehe..

8/15/2005 01:33:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

Mohamed,

"Why don't you use a bike instead. That way no one will see your car parked at his building. What do you think? hehe.. "

A WOMAN on a motorbike in Abu Dhabi?That would be an even bigger fidee7a than frequenting half a dozen single guy's apartments:)

Besides what's the point?A motorbike would still have a license plate & so people would recognize it.

Can't believe people actually pay attention to details like that. Would never recognize anyone's car if they were not in it. Have never looked at anyone's license plate. Can't tell you what my Mom's or my Dad's or K's license numbers are.

8/15/2005 04:20:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

roora & doshar,

You are both right. Yes people have dirty minds. And yes doshar the living together bit is causing problems. Look how much I suffered when he went away for 10 days only.

Had assumed that will wear off on its own eventually. Like we discussed here before the honeymoon period doesn't last forever. Thought that with time we'd naturally get over wanting to live like Siamese twins.

However it's probably not a good time to tackle the we should have different schedules topic with him. He might take it the wrong way & think am getting bored or something. The guy already thinks I have a problem with stability.What I'll do is what roora said. I'll tell him about the carpark issue & suggest we meet outside after 9:00pm. That will solve both problems.

8/15/2005 04:32:00 PM  
Blogger Gilgamish said...

loulou,

i think mohammed meant a bike as in bicycle and not a motorbike. but would that be also fidee7a?


oof, thank goodness i'm not in an arabic country.

but u know what, girl, just live ur life, but if you are the person that cares what other people might think of her, especially when it comes to parents, then , take your pre-cautions.

8/15/2005 09:27:00 PM  
Blogger DNA said...

I say to hell with what people might think. I'm not a woman - it's easier for me to say and do than it is for you (I presume, though I hate to sound presumptious).

There is no way we can challenge the status quo if we bend over, and besides - no matter how good you cover stuff up, people 'find out' and it becomes twice the scandal.

8/16/2005 01:46:00 PM  
Blogger Twosret said...

I follow the proverb that says "I don't eat where I shit and I don't shit where I eat" sorry for the bad language.

Can't think of better words. As for scheduling your life around him not a good idea.

DNA menawar eih el 7alawah dih :)

8/17/2005 12:11:00 AM  
Blogger DNA said...

Hehehe benoorik ya set Two

8/17/2005 12:00:00 PM  

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