Him: I worry you a lot don't I?
Me : Lots of things worry me.
Him: Damn.And I thought I was special.
Me : You are very special. But not in that particular way.
Him: What do you worry about most? Come on. One-word answer.
Me : One-word answer? Responsiblity.
Me : Yes. Being responsible for someone else's happiness indefinitely.
Him: Am I so difficult?
Me : In some ways.
Him: Name one.
Me : You like having your own way too much.
Him: Ouch. You think I'm selfish?
Me : No. Not at all. You're self-confident & decisive. Unlike me. It's part of what attracts me to you. But self-confident, decisive people are sometimes inflexible. You don't really trust anyone's judgement but your own do you?
Him: If I seem to make decisions for you sometimes it's only because you suffer so much with them I just try to spare you. You said it yourself. You don't like responsibility.
Me : Didn't say that I didn't like it, K. Am not irresponsible. All I said was that I think twice before taking on new responsibilities. Like to be sure I can handle them. Doesn't mean that once I take them on I want you to shoulder them on your own & not consult with me.
Him: Are we talking about something specific here or is this just Psychology 101?
Me : Was just answering your question. But since you ask I can actually give you specifics.
Him: Please don't stop there.
Me : Well it's not just me you don't consult, is it? You don't consult with your family about anything you plan to do - like get married. You decide then you tell them your decision. And they accept that without question - which means inta m3awidhum 3ala kida.
Him: Ma3laish bas I think I'm old enough to get married without parental guidance.
Me : Me, too. But I do want my parents to be happy and to like you. But you, you just pick up the phone and tell them our plans and expect them to jump on a flight. And they do. What takes me weeks to accomplish takes you 5 minutes.
Him: Choosing my own life partner is being inflexible?
Me : That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is that most people would be more anxious about whether their family or close friends like their partner. And it's not an issue for you at all.
Him: Tayeb. Moving on....There's more isn't there?
Me : Remember when we were talking about that car you wanted to buy? And A. said what's the point in giving you advice you always do what you want in the end? I mean A. is a mechanical engineer. If my best friend was a mechanical engineer I'd listen to his advice about cars.
Him: Anything else?
Me : Yes. Remember when we had that conversation about religion?
Me : Well you said you didn't like the fact that I was reading so much about religion because you thought I was referring too much to the interpretations of others. Yes, I'm interested in how other people cope with the questions that are bothering me. But you - the only knowledge you really accept from others is the facts. Nothing that requires personal judgement or interpretation. You think you know best.
Him: Wi eh kaman?
Me : La 7aram yikfi. Ana khalast.
Him: You know there might be some truth in what you say but you make it sound very negative.
Me : Am sorry. Me & my big mouth.You know criticism is what I do best. And you did ask.
Him: Ok then I guess I got more than I bargained for.
Me : 7abibi mashallah you're a very intelligent, successful person. And now that I'm getting to know your family life better I see that you're used to people depending on you. All of which I really respect. I mean it. You know I love you. You're my hero.
Him: Aiwa yakhti sala7i. Manti ti'itili elateel wi timshi fi ganaztu. Give me more. If you're quite done shrinking my ego that is.
Me : Oh am not worried about your ego. If I shrink it min hina lilsub7 it'll just come down to about normal size.
Him: You're a hard woman.
Me : No I'm a woman who cares about you. No one is always right. Sometimes others see things you don't. And if you insist on taking charge of everything then you might get to a point where you overburden yourself & that's not good for your or anyone else.
Him: You think I carry too much on my shoulders?
Me : Well they're pretty impressive shoulders but still. Mish tiftiri ya3ni.
Him(laughing): Nice one but you still haven't even started to make it up to me.
Me : Do I need to make it up? Are we fighting?
Him: So far a one-sided fight.
Me : Ok in the interests of fair-play you get to criticize me in a minute. But before I make it up to you you promise to think about what I said?
Him: I think about everything you say.
Me : This is one of those conversations you don't like, no?
Him: I like conversation to be about specifics. Tell me I didn't like it when you did X or Y and I'll see what I can do about it. I just think it's more effective communication than all the psychoanalysis.
Me : Ok your turn now. What worries you about me most? Give me specifics since they're your thing. I don't mind.