Love is A Many Splendoured Thing.....
Probably that's why it's so complicated. It has so many different aspects to it. You have to click on so many different levels.
Am falling in love. And am frightened.
First because am in a transitional period of my life. Am leaving this country soon. So is my family. To make a commitment here would mean such a big change of plans. Never thought of this place as a permanent home. And none of my previous relationships were with people who did. Always made sure we had similar plans for the future.
But this one happened so suddenly. Another new experience. I've fallen in love once with my cousin & once with an old friend. In both cases they were familiar faces. It wasn't love at first sight.
We only met 3 months ago. Last night he called from work at about 10 & we talked for half an hour. Then he said he was really tired could he go home & sleep for 2 hours & then call me. I said ok. Was sleepy but I was afraid that if I fell asleep I wouldn't hear the phone. So I didn't. And he called at around 1:30 in the morning & now it's 6 o'clock in the morning & I just got off the phone with him.
3 months & we talk all night. This is not me. Am so incredibly impressed with him. More than I've ever been with anyone before - except maybe my father. Impressed to the point where I feel inadequate somehow. But tonight it hit me that it's not just a case of being charmed & impressed. Not if I give up my sleep & stay up all night to talk to him. Could've just told him to call me in the morning. It's what I would have done with anybody else.
It scares me because it's too fast. Can't get this involved yet. There's so much he still doesn't know about me. Love shouldn't happen like this. You should get to know each other well then accept each other for who you are and THEN fall in love.Not fall in love first & then wonder will he still love me if I tell him this or that.
Are we rushing into this because we both sense that my time here is so limited?Is this why we try to spend every waking hour together - if not in person then on the phone?
Are we crazy to be talking about love so soon?