The last memory I have of being asleep is about 9:00am on Tuesday. The day Mom left. Didn't go to work. Crazy morning - running around picking up things that she remembered she needs at the last moment, helping her pack etc....She almost missed her flight.
What did I do for the rest of that day?Went into hyperactive mode. Constant motion liberally interspersed with bouts of hysterics recurring whenever I find myself still for a few minutes. On the way back from the airport I called for a hair appointment. Surprisingly enough I managed to get one immediately. But when I arrived at the hairdresser's I realized I was too hyper to sit still & get my hair done. Fortunately I was asked to wait for 15 min so I said sorry I can't, that I'd call for another appointment & escaped gracefully. Good thing too. The mood I was in I would have told her to cut it all off.
Ok so no hair, no facial, no manicure & pedicure. Nothing that involves sitting still. And I was alone. Everyone was at work. So I ended up just driving around & around for hours. Half way to Al Ain & back. Then out on the road to Dubai & back. And all over the city center. Speeding of course. Was snagged by radar somewhere in Khalidiya. Damn. Is there no where one can be safe from these radars anymore?
When I finally made it home I spent the rest of the day being Mom. Feeding my Dad. Helping my sister study for her exams. And packing. At midnight after everyone was in bed I sat in the living room trying to watch TV. Didn't work. Not a TV person. So I spent the rest of the night between my laptop & the phone. Talked to my friend M. in Tunisia until she fell asleep on the line. Then talked to K. until he fell asleep too. My last victim was my uncle T. but he only managed about 20 min. No one can keep up with me. It's depressing sometimes the way - one by one - everyone drops off to sleep & am left alone. Was chatting & blogging from 4:30am until 6:00am. Time to get ready for work.
Except am not the only one who's in motion these days. Dad called me at work on Wednesday to tell me that he's flying to Riyadh on business the same night & ask me to pack a bag for him. That's one thing about my Dad. He never packs or unpacks for himself. Mom always does it for him. If she's not there it becomes my job.
So Wednesday was packing day. I packed for Dad. Then after he left I started packing up our living room in boxes. Can't believe the amount of stuff we have stored in drawers & cupboards there. Had K, T(my uncle), & my younger bro all helping. So I got to be in charge which was nice. Didn't change the fact that it was depressing work. Stayed up all night on Wednesday cleaning up my room & organzing my stuff to see what I was going to move & what I was going to give away etc...Got carried away reading old papers & looking at old pics etc....Lost track of time until I heard the call for Fajr(dawn prayer).
Thursday was a surprisingly good day.Talked to Mom in the early morning. Found her in good spirits. All excited about being with everyone there & all the wedding plans & stuff. Too excited to be breaking her heart over me. I felt better immediately. The fact that she was happy was an indicator that things aren't that bad. Then Thursday was the last working day before the UAE National Day holiday. Long weekend. We don't go back to work til Monday. Holidays are always nice.
At lunch my brother said he was going to spend the holiday in Dubai with his friends - all 4 days of it. Thankfully I don't pack for him. So Thursday afternoon it was just me & my sister at home. Took her out shopping & spent way too much money on her because I couldn't be bothered to argue. She was supposed to be spending the night at a friend's house. So I took her over there, thanked her friend's parents for having her etc...& felt even more like a parent. And then it was just me. But not for long. Home alone just translates to out all night with K. It was really nice to dress up & go out clubbing. We didn't make it home until after all the clubs closed at 3:00am. He stayed with me until 6:30am on Friday then he said he had to go home & get some rest for his trip.
He's in motion too. He left on Friday afternoon. Camping trip with friends. They're coming back tomorrow. Should I feel abandoned?Maybe I do a bit. Everyone leaves & am left behind. Everyone sleeps & am left awake. What is the matter with me?Why couldn't I have been born normal?
He keeps sending me photos & videos taken with his cellphone from his camping trip. Looks like he's in paradise. Thank God for multimedia messaging. And yes it is nice that he thinks of me every 3 hrs or so. It probably means he's not in some other woman's arms right?I mean it's not conclusive but it's a good sign.
The rest of Friday I spent packing with my sister & T. Then in the afternoon I asked him to take my sister out & keep her entertained because I hadn't slept in 3 days & I wanted some rest. But I never got to bed. D. called & told me they were going ice-skating & get to ready. So ice-skating it was. Got home around 8:00pm but I had D. & some other friends over with me. We ordered pizza. And then we were watching videos of each other ice-skating. Then being a gathering of girls of course at some point we put on music & it was time for dancing practice. My sister loved it. She loves being allowed to spend time with my friends.
After everyone left I was cleaning up & surprisingly enough my sister helped out a lot. And then I had a bath. Came out to find her asleep on the couch in the living room. So I woke her up & helped her into bed.
Then I went to bed with my laptop - and stayed online until 7:00am today(Sat). At 8:00am I gave up on sleeping & I got up to eat something. K. called & he was having breakfast too. Told him about the insomnia - that I was feeling light-headed. So he said that I didn't sound ok at all & asked if I wanted him to come back - which was sweet - but of course I said no. Everyone who has seen me or talked to me has told me that I don't look ok. Nevertheless I spent all morning today on the beach. We're supposed to be teaching a friend to jet-ski. Very badly sun-burned. Yes I don't tan. I burn.
And now?Well I have D & my uncle over. And my sister has friends over too. Am sitting in the living room with them blogging because the two of them no longer need me to carry the conversation ball. Infact I don't think they even noticed that I've been typing for the last half an hour or so. They think am working. Am glad they're getting along so well.
But am I going to sleep tonight or are we looking at a new world record here?
Robert Frost writes:
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
And miles to go before I sleep."
But I don't have promises to keep. Just miles to go before I sleep.