Saturday, December 03, 2005


The last memory I have of being asleep is about 9:00am on Tuesday. The day Mom left. Didn't go to work. Crazy morning - running around picking up things that she remembered she needs at the last moment, helping her pack etc....She almost missed her flight.

What did I do for the rest of that day?Went into hyperactive mode. Constant motion liberally interspersed with bouts of hysterics recurring whenever I find myself still for a few minutes. On the way back from the airport I called for a hair appointment. Surprisingly enough I managed to get one immediately. But when I arrived at the hairdresser's I realized I was too hyper to sit still & get my hair done. Fortunately I was asked to wait for 15 min so I said sorry I can't, that I'd call for another appointment & escaped gracefully. Good thing too. The mood I was in I would have told her to cut it all off.

Ok so no hair, no facial, no manicure & pedicure. Nothing that involves sitting still. And I was alone. Everyone was at work. So I ended up just driving around & around for hours. Half way to Al Ain & back. Then out on the road to Dubai & back. And all over the city center. Speeding of course. Was snagged by radar somewhere in Khalidiya. Damn. Is there no where one can be safe from these radars anymore?

When I finally made it home I spent the rest of the day being Mom. Feeding my Dad. Helping my sister study for her exams. And packing. At midnight after everyone was in bed I sat in the living room trying to watch TV. Didn't work. Not a TV person. So I spent the rest of the night between my laptop & the phone. Talked to my friend M. in Tunisia until she fell asleep on the line. Then talked to K. until he fell asleep too. My last victim was my uncle T. but he only managed about 20 min. No one can keep up with me. It's depressing sometimes the way - one by one - everyone drops off to sleep & am left alone. Was chatting & blogging from 4:30am until 6:00am. Time to get ready for work.

Except am not the only one who's in motion these days. Dad called me at work on Wednesday to tell me that he's flying to Riyadh on business the same night & ask me to pack a bag for him. That's one thing about my Dad. He never packs or unpacks for himself. Mom always does it for him. If she's not there it becomes my job.

So Wednesday was packing day. I packed for Dad. Then after he left I started packing up our living room in boxes. Can't believe the amount of stuff we have stored in drawers & cupboards there. Had K, T(my uncle), & my younger bro all helping. So I got to be in charge which was nice. Didn't change the fact that it was depressing work. Stayed up all night on Wednesday cleaning up my room & organzing my stuff to see what I was going to move & what I was going to give away etc...Got carried away reading old papers & looking at old pics etc....Lost track of time until I heard the call for Fajr(dawn prayer).

Thursday was a surprisingly good day.Talked to Mom in the early morning. Found her in good spirits. All excited about being with everyone there & all the wedding plans & stuff. Too excited to be breaking her heart over me. I felt better immediately. The fact that she was happy was an indicator that things aren't that bad. Then Thursday was the last working day before the UAE National Day holiday. Long weekend. We don't go back to work til Monday. Holidays are always nice.

At lunch my brother said he was going to spend the holiday in Dubai with his friends - all 4 days of it. Thankfully I don't pack for him. So Thursday afternoon it was just me & my sister at home. Took her out shopping & spent way too much money on her because I couldn't be bothered to argue. She was supposed to be spending the night at a friend's house. So I took her over there, thanked her friend's parents for having her etc...& felt even more like a parent. And then it was just me. But not for long. Home alone just translates to out all night with K. It was really nice to dress up & go out clubbing. We didn't make it home until after all the clubs closed at 3:00am. He stayed with me until 6:30am on Friday then he said he had to go home & get some rest for his trip.

He's in motion too. He left on Friday afternoon. Camping trip with friends. They're coming back tomorrow. Should I feel abandoned?Maybe I do a bit. Everyone leaves & am left behind. Everyone sleeps & am left awake. What is the matter with me?Why couldn't I have been born normal?

He keeps sending me photos & videos taken with his cellphone from his camping trip. Looks like he's in paradise. Thank God for multimedia messaging. And yes it is nice that he thinks of me every 3 hrs or so. It probably means he's not in some other woman's arms right?I mean it's not conclusive but it's a good sign.

The rest of Friday I spent packing with my sister & T. Then in the afternoon I asked him to take my sister out & keep her entertained because I hadn't slept in 3 days & I wanted some rest. But I never got to bed. D. called & told me they were going ice-skating & get to ready. So ice-skating it was. Got home around 8:00pm but I had D. & some other friends over with me. We ordered pizza. And then we were watching videos of each other ice-skating. Then being a gathering of girls of course at some point we put on music & it was time for dancing practice. My sister loved it. She loves being allowed to spend time with my friends.

After everyone left I was cleaning up & surprisingly enough my sister helped out a lot. And then I had a bath. Came out to find her asleep on the couch in the living room. So I woke her up & helped her into bed.

Then I went to bed with my laptop - and stayed online until 7:00am today(Sat). At 8:00am I gave up on sleeping & I got up to eat something. K. called & he was having breakfast too. Told him about the insomnia - that I was feeling light-headed. So he said that I didn't sound ok at all & asked if I wanted him to come back - which was sweet - but of course I said no. Everyone who has seen me or talked to me has told me that I don't look ok. Nevertheless I spent all morning today on the beach. We're supposed to be teaching a friend to jet-ski. Very badly sun-burned. Yes I don't tan. I burn.

And now?Well I have D & my uncle over. And my sister has friends over too. Am sitting in the living room with them blogging because the two of them no longer need me to carry the conversation ball. Infact I don't think they even noticed that I've been typing for the last half an hour or so. They think am working. Am glad they're getting along so well.

But am I going to sleep tonight or are we looking at a new world record here?

Robert Frost writes:

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
And miles to go before I sleep."

But I don't have promises to keep. Just miles to go before I sleep.



Blogger Me ® said...

I struggle to keep myself awake sometimes especially when i have midterms, but u really r going for a world record .. i salute u :)

bas lazem terta7eelek shwai :) if u want to i'll give u one of my old modern arabic litrature assignments .. sleep guaranteed :P

12/03/2005 10:14:00 PM  
Blogger doshar said...

ya loulou i am not your mother and yet reading your post you got me really worried about you! what are you doing to yourself!!!? 3 days without sleeping! you are over over exerting yourself. this is not good for you ya benti. you were just sick a month or two ago, mayenfa3sh kida. you need to sleep and say no when someone tells you to go out when you haven't slept at all! le badanek 3aleiki 7ak! if you can't sleep, cut down on coffee, turn off your phone and laptop, and take something to soothe you, some chamomile, warm milk or anything of the sort!

take it easy ya bent

12/04/2005 12:00:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...

Me ®,

Afraid I didn't make the world record.:)

What are you studying?


Thanks for the concern. Collapsed around 3:00am last night & slept all day today. And you're right. If Mama was here there would have been trouble. I miss her.:(

12/04/2005 06:50:00 PM  
Blogger Me ® said...

setti balash el world record... se7tek bel donya :)

am a computer engineering student .. but i took modern arabic lit. as an elective course o ghasben 3anni ..long story :)

12/04/2005 08:14:00 PM  
Blogger Me said...

OMG Loul !!! Eih dah ?!?! Take care of yourself shwaya ... ya3ni as Doshar said "le badanek 3aleiki 7ak!" ...
Good to know that you got finally got some sleep..

Btw .. it's so cute K's been sending you "live" videos and stuff :-)

PS. What happened to that cough syrup
? Could've helped ;-)

12/05/2005 01:55:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...

Me ®,

You remind me of me.:)
Majored in Computer Engineering too. You'll end up in IT - just like the rest of us here. So you might as well join the club for now.

"but i took modern arabic lit. as an elective course o ghasben 3anni ..long story :)"

Say no more. I know all about electives.


We're out of cough syrup.:(

Mom threw it away before she left because she said it's been open too long.

I think I'll stick the with wholesome organic stuff. Camomile - like doshar said. Warm milk. Lavendar.:)

12/05/2005 08:09:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Easy girl...try to have some know what!! in the past few days I wasn't really into blogging at all, didn't even surf the blogsphere for 5 days...but one night I was in this hyper-hyper mood...and thought I would go check your blog coz I was sure there would be lots of actions there...and that night I was like complaining eno I didn't sleep except for like 4 hours in the last 3 days...but reading this post made me realize that am lucky :)) at least I relaxed shwaya ya3ni.

12/05/2005 01:19:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...


Yeah you should drop by anytime you feel unlucky about sleeplessness. I've refined this into an actual way of life. Ya3ni during the day I find myself mentally planning what am going to do after everyone has gone to sleep. I actully forget about this sleep stuff sometimes. When my body starts send SOS I stop & have to think ok when was the last time I slept & for how long?

12/05/2005 06:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

:))) good approach...think I gotta borrow it from you and start using it.

12/06/2005 10:25:00 AM  
Blogger Jane said...

Always on the go, LouLou. Not to be presumptuous or rude but as I read this post I was thinking of whether you will have children someday....if so, I hope you take some time to be lazy and smell the flowers first. Once you become a parent there is no time for it, although you somewhat seem to enjoy your hectic pace. Hope you've managed to catch up on some good rest.

12/07/2005 04:20:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...


"Once you become a parent there is no time for it, although you somewhat seem to enjoy your hectic pace."

I enjoy being active & busy. But I don't enjoy the insomnia. There's this point where your body is dying for rest but your brain refuses to switch off and keeps driving your tired body on. Physically & emotionally unpleasant. Quite depressing really. It may sound ridiculous but I've broken down & cried a few times because I was so tired but sleep wouldn't come. Don't believe anyone who tells you they enjoy this.

About children, thanks for your advice. My mother used to tell me I should try to relax more while am still single because after marriage I won't have time. Already married now so I guess it's too late to take her advice.
But not too late to heed yours.:)

Thank you.

12/07/2005 01:24:00 PM  

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