Boy have you been active again! Went through you're last few posts, i have missed a lot!
To summarize my opinions, and i know you might kill me, K was right to get angry, but he shouldnt have taken it that far, glad it passed though or kinda passed, his sense of humour and love for you should make up for it :)
The tie post, are you sure you were crying because you were upset from him? i think its many things altogether, the wedding bells close might be one of them?
I agree with Charismatic soul..regarding this last part...it didn't sound like a tie thing khales..I mean it is a tie plus ++++++...bas glad u r over this...W kaman I agree with Charismatic soul re. the first part :)
Well, By the last part I meant eno you may be freaked out, or kinda stressed coz of work, him, and wedding arrangements w keda...ya3ni it wasn't only him..
As for the first part ba2a, I meant eno you are back on track, masha2allh, a couple of days off and I came to find 3 or 4 new posts....am trying to keep up with you :)))
Lou, "What was he right to get angry about?And how far is too far? "
He was right about getting angry when you met your friend's husband for lunch. And he went far as in, and from the picture i had from the conversation, is that he kept on pushing it inspite of your repetitive explanation.
And since you love K, i think you'll give me enough credit to say that i agree with him all the way :)
I had a similar thing with D, but as you might guess, it was the other way round, and i hated myself afterwards, he kept on explanining and i just kept on pushing it like an idiot.
It would be a nightmare to get involved with some one similar to me, you have all my support and D has all my love :D
"He was right about getting angry when you met your friend's husband for lunch."
So you agree that getting married or involved means he dumps his female friends & you dump your male friends?
I know a lot of girls like that actually. When she has a bf/fiance we don't see her anymore because she doesn't want to hang around other guys anymore. And she dumps all the guys she knows. Doesn't pick up their calls, won't go to the hospital to see them if they're dying etc...
Then if he & she break up she comes back until she finds another guy.
Never liked that particular attitude because it shows basically that you don't value your friends - you just use them to fill in time until you're in a relationship & you can dump them. Or that you were only hanging around them because you saw them as potential catches & now you caught someone so you don't need them anymore.
I see no reason to change the way I deal with my male friends because aslan there was never anything more than friendship between me & them. Whether am single or otherwise the limits are the same. There's no reason for him to feel possessive or get jealous of any of them.
Yes I accept that I need to get a little more choosy who I hang out with but that's because my life is starting to feel overcrowded, my time is getting wasted & I can't find room or space to build real friendships & also because several people around me have shown themselves to be using me or talking about me etc...But that affects me. I never let it affect him. I see no reason for him to complain here because he's always the first priority. When he's free I dump everything & everyone else to make myself available - even if it just means sitting by the pool watching him swim or hanging around the clinic while he's working. If he expects me to sit home alone whenever he's not free then that's not going to work because I hate being alone.
Lou, "So you agree that getting married or involved means he dumps his female friends & you dump your male friends?"
Not at all!! I never said that, My friends (and his) were there before we got involved and most probably will be there if god forbids we go apart, but from what i understood, you're friends aslan with thte guy's wife.
What i meant was you should've at least thought about K's reaction, and put yourself in his place.
Now, if you had bumped into your friend accidently and he joined you, that would've been a totaly different scenario, but actually inviting him over is kinda wrong, i know i would'nt do something like that and would flip if D did too, an action like that is totaly unrequited for.
"What i meant was you should've at least thought about K's reaction, and put yourself in his place."
I didn't think about his reaction Chari because I would never in a million years have expected that he would react the way he did. He totally startled me.
In his place I wouldn't get jealous of his friend's wife & if I did I'd be too embarrassed to mention it. 3aib. She's married to his friend for heaven's sake.
I don't know. Maybe this is hard for me to understand because am not a particularly jealous or possessive person. Not in that kind of context. I would get jealous or feel threatened if someone was closer to him than me -or if he ignored me in favor of someone else or I felt he was putting someone else first. I'd have to feel my place in his life was being threatened. And it's not going to be threatened because he had lunch with someone.
Of course when I tried to explain this to him he said his jealousy is a lot more straightforward & easy to understand, that kida min ghair falsafa he gets jealous of other men, period & that he knows it's all very Freudian. Which is the sort of thing he would say.:)
Anyway my point is this is not something that I could have predicted by putting myself in his place because our perspectives on it are so different.
Sorry if I seemed to flip at you. Didn't mean to. Nothing personal. Guess am just still a little angry about what happened which I think was so unnecessary really. You did say I might kill you if you said he was right.:)
Lou, "Sorry if I seemed to flip at you. Didn't mean to. Nothing personal. Guess am just still a little angry about what happened which I think was so unnecessary really. You did say I might kill you if you said he was right.:) "
Dont worry about it dear, yes i said you might kill me so i expected the worse :)
The bottom line is, people's reactions are different, i wouldnt like it if D has lunch with his friend's wife alone, i wouldnt flip, but i certialy would tell him i dont like it and he shoulnt ever do it again, this is where i think K over reacted, it could've been dealt with in a much simpler way.
Any how i think youre getting a bit better about it, hope it stays that way, and wish you all the best :)
"Dont worry about it dear, yes i said you might kill me so i expected the worse :)"
Am glad I didn't offend you. Was starting to stress about that on top of everything else. Had 10 cigarettes today so far. I think you were responsible for at least 2.:)
"The bottom line is, people's reactions are different"
Yes. Very different. Even people in love it seems.:(
"Any how i think youre getting a bit better about it,"
Yes I am. But only if I don't let myself think about it too deeply. Am trying to forget.
19 Comments:
:)
Very sweet...
Cause after a very heavy rain the sun rises again ..and that beautiful colorful rainbow fill the sky :)
lou,
Boy have you been active again!
Went through you're last few posts, i have missed a lot!
To summarize my opinions, and i know you might kill me, K was right to get angry, but he shouldnt have taken it that far, glad it passed though or kinda passed, his sense of humour and love for you should make up for it :)
The tie post, are you sure you were crying because you were upset from him? i think its many things altogether, the wedding bells close might be one of them?
I agree with Charismatic soul..regarding this last part...it didn't sound like a tie thing khales..I mean it is a tie plus ++++++...bas glad u r over this...W kaman I agree with Charismatic soul re. the first part :)
Beautiful things like Rainbow should never apologize!
Chari,
"To summarize my opinions, and i know you might kill me, K was right to get angry, but he shouldnt have taken it that far,"
What was he right to get angry about?And how far is too far?
Nerro,
Not sure I understand your comment because you said first part & last part & am not sure what parts you mean.:(
But if you agree with Chari then I'll ask you the same question I asked her.
Rain,
"Very sweet..."
I thought you might like it. It's a very 'rainy' quote isn't it?
Actually I loved it too. Both meaning & expression. Saw it in someone's office today. Wish I knew who wrote it. I want to read more of his/her stuff.
Night,
"Beautiful things like Rainbow should never apologize! "
But you must admit that beautiful rainbows make up for angry skies.:)
and the seagulls whisper to the waves...
"Wish I knew who wrote it. I want to read more of his/her stuff"
It is Sylvia A. Voirol who wrote it.
Your dreams are our commands, hehehehe
Loulou,
:) , you're right...I love dreamy quotes..esp. if they have sth related to rain :D.
Night,
Beautiful things like Rainbow should never apologize!
They don't have to apologize directly :)... their existence only means the world to the angry skies .
Well, By the last part I meant eno you may be freaked out, or kinda stressed coz of work, him, and wedding arrangements w keda...ya3ni it wasn't only him..
As for the first part ba2a, I meant eno you are back on track, masha2allh, a couple of days off and I came to find 3 or 4 new posts....am trying to keep up with you :)))
Lou,
"What was he right to get angry about?And how far is too far? "
He was right about getting angry when you met your friend's husband for lunch.
And he went far as in, and from the picture i had from the conversation, is that he kept on pushing it inspite of your repetitive explanation.
And since you love K, i think you'll give me enough credit to say that i agree with him all the way :)
I had a similar thing with D, but as you might guess, it was the other way round, and i hated myself afterwards, he kept on explanining and i just kept on pushing it like an idiot.
It would be a nightmare to get involved with some one similar to me, you have all my support and D has all my love :D
Chari,
"He was right about getting angry when you met your friend's husband for lunch."
So you agree that getting married or involved means he dumps his female friends & you dump your male friends?
I know a lot of girls like that actually. When she has a bf/fiance we don't see her anymore because she doesn't want to hang around other guys anymore. And she dumps all the guys she knows. Doesn't pick up their calls, won't go to the hospital to see them if they're dying etc...
Then if he & she break up she comes back until she finds another guy.
Never liked that particular attitude because it shows basically that you don't value your friends - you just use them to fill in time until you're in a relationship & you can dump them. Or that you were only hanging around them because you saw them as potential catches & now you caught someone so you don't need them anymore.
I see no reason to change the way I deal with my male friends because aslan there was never anything more than friendship between me & them. Whether am single or otherwise the limits are the same. There's no reason for him to feel possessive or get jealous of any of them.
Yes I accept that I need to get a little more choosy who I hang out with but that's because my life is starting to feel overcrowded, my time is getting wasted & I can't find room or space to build real friendships & also because several people around me have shown themselves to be using me or talking about me etc...But that affects me. I never let it affect him. I see no reason for him to complain here because he's always the first priority. When he's free I dump everything & everyone else to make myself available - even if it just means sitting by the pool watching him swim or hanging around the clinic while he's working. If he expects me to sit home alone whenever he's not free then that's not going to work because I hate being alone.
Nerro,
"am trying to keep up with you :)))"
Am sure you will. You're pretty active yourself mashallah.:)
Wonderer,
Thanks for the tip about Voirol. I appreciate it.
Lou,
"So you agree that getting married or involved means he dumps his female friends & you dump your male friends?"
Not at all!!
I never said that, My friends (and his) were there before we got involved and most probably will be there if god forbids we go apart, but from what i understood, you're friends aslan with thte guy's wife.
What i meant was you should've at least thought about K's reaction, and put yourself in his place.
Now, if you had bumped into your friend accidently and he joined you, that would've been a totaly different scenario, but actually inviting him over is kinda wrong, i know i would'nt do something like that and would flip if D did too, an action like that is totaly unrequited for.
I hope im a bit clearer now.
Chari,
"What i meant was you should've at least thought about K's reaction, and put yourself in his place."
I didn't think about his reaction Chari because I would never in a million years have expected that he would react the way he did. He totally startled me.
In his place I wouldn't get jealous of his friend's wife & if I did I'd be too embarrassed to mention it. 3aib. She's married to his friend for heaven's sake.
I don't know. Maybe this is hard for me to understand because am not a particularly jealous or possessive person. Not in that kind of context. I would get jealous or feel threatened if someone was closer to him than me -or if he ignored me in favor of someone else or I felt he was putting someone else first. I'd have to feel my place in his life was being threatened. And it's not going to be threatened because he had lunch with someone.
Of course when I tried to explain this to him he said his jealousy is a lot more straightforward & easy to understand, that kida min ghair falsafa he gets jealous of other men, period & that he knows it's all very Freudian. Which is the sort of thing he would say.:)
Anyway my point is this is not something that I could have predicted by putting myself in his place because our perspectives on it are so different.
Sorry if I seemed to flip at you. Didn't mean to. Nothing personal. Guess am just still a little angry about what happened which I think was so unnecessary really. You did say I might kill you if you said he was right.:)
Lou,
"Sorry if I seemed to flip at you. Didn't mean to. Nothing personal. Guess am just still a little angry about what happened which I think was so unnecessary really. You did say I might kill you if you said he was right.:) "
Dont worry about it dear, yes i said you might kill me so i expected the worse :)
The bottom line is, people's reactions are different, i wouldnt like it if D has lunch with his friend's wife alone, i wouldnt flip, but i certialy would tell him i dont like it and he shoulnt ever do it again, this is where i think K over reacted, it could've been dealt with in a much simpler way.
Any how i think youre getting a bit better about it, hope it stays that way, and wish you all the best :)
Chari,
"Dont worry about it dear, yes i said you might kill me so i expected the worse :)"
Am glad I didn't offend you. Was starting to stress about that on top of everything else. Had 10 cigarettes today so far. I think you were responsible for at least 2.:)
"The bottom line is, people's reactions are different"
Yes. Very different. Even people in love it seems.:(
"Any how i think youre getting a bit better about it,"
Yes I am. But only if I don't let myself think about it too deeply. Am trying to forget.
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