I have it bad...

The nicest thing about our new apartment is that the building has a rooftop swimming pool. Didn't find him at home so I came to check up here & sure enough there he was in the pool. Yelled out hi & blew him a kiss. He yelled back that inti btid7aki 3alaya ya bit inti come here I want the real thing. What is this ya bit inti stuff?First it was ya magnoona now it's ya bit inti?When is he going to start using my name?

Nevertheless he was out of the water standing by the pool waiting so I went over to give him the real thing. No one was going to say am not an obedient wife. Am just glad no one was around to hear all that shouting.

Went to sit by the pool with my book & he went back to finish his swim. We've done this several times before. And I never get much reading done. Truth is I love watching him. What can I say?He's easy on the eyes.

It fascinates me to watch him swimming especially because it's so different from the way I do it. If I go swimming it's got to be with a big group of friends. And it will be more about floating around, playing games, making fun of each other in the water than actually doing lengths.

But he approaches it with the same focus he uses on everything else. I knew that kiss hello was probably the only attention am going to get until he's done. He really concentrates. He won't look up or wave or anything. Sometimes when there are other people around they don't realize that we're together because he does nothing to indicate he even knows me. And I get to overhear all sorts of interesting conversations & comments on him. I think he forgets that am there. Am getting used to being ignored when he's focused on something else. Provided of course that something else is not another woman I think I can live with it. Besides he makes up for it when am the focus. He's a good-looking guy but it's this intensity that I found so irresistable from the beginning. It just triggers me.

Sometimes I worry about him. I wonder if he does anything at all just to relax. He works too hard. When he reads he reads work-related stuff. Most of his DVD's are of surgical procedures & dentistry stuff. When he's lying on the beach getting a suntan he always has his professional reading material with him & I know it's what he's doing when am not there. When he swims he does it for exercise. Most of his friends are in his field & I know half the time they talk about work when they go out & socialize which they don't do very often. It's sometimes a bit uncomfortable for me being out with them because all his friends are dentists who are married to dentists & they talk shop so much. And he doesn't have that many friends. He's quite an introvert. We are opposites in that way. Sure he'll go out with my friends but I have a feeling that's something he does for me. The only thing I see him doing for fun really is music. He plays instruments & loves singing & listening to music. But even that's not something he does on a regular basis. Only in certain moods. Sometimes his life seems very serious to me. Too serious. I think he's too young to live like that. He's only 3 years older than me. I guess that's why he needs me.

So I spent more than an hour & a half watching him without turning a single page of my open book. I give up. Am going to spend the rest of my life following him around like a lovesick puppy. No use fighting it anymore. Am now officially an empty shell of the independent, self-possessed, self-sufficient woman I once dreamed of being.

Worst thing is I don't even mind that much. It's kind of fun.