Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Moments

Me : Hello?
Him: Fainak ya wa7ishni?
Me : K.
Him: 3iyoon K. Eh ya 3am? Ma btrodish leh?
Me : Sorry 7abibi. Have you been calling a lot?
Him: Inti nayma?
Me : Yeah.
Him: Hiya eh el7ikaya?
Me : Ay 7kaya? 3adi nayma.
Him: Aiwa nayma leh wi ezay ya3ni? Min imta da?
Me : Geez. Don't freak out just because I slept!
Him: I'm getting worried here.
Me : K 7abibi kol elnas tnam.
Him: Aiwa malna i7na wi mal elnas? Matghayarish elmaowdoo3. Elnas 7aga winti 7aga tanya khalis. Howa ana tayeh 3anik?

This made me laugh. Am married to someone who takes it for granted that I'm a walking freak show. If I do an average everyday thing like go to sleep at a reasonable hour he gets confused.

Me: So did you miss me?
Him: I get a little worried when you don't pick up.
Me : Why? I'm probably just sleeping or not near the phone.
Him: But you always answer your phone! What the hell!

He sounds even more confused.

Because when he's not with me am always watching my cell. My friends keep asking why I act like it's the end of the world if he rings and I don't answer on the first ring. But I decide he doesn't need to know that.

Me: So how is your father?

Silence.

Him: L., my father hasn't got the kind of condition that changes from day to day. You don't need to ask me that everyday.
Me : 7abibi, mahma kan Allah ghalib.
Him: Wani3ma billah. Bas i7na mish sogyareen ya3ni. Mish hanid7ak 3ala nafsina.
Me : Tayeb your mother? How is she doing?
Him: Ah. El7amdullilah kwaisa.
Me : Do you want to talk about this?
Him: No.
Me : Khalas 7abibi. Ana asfa. I7keeli 3anak inta.
Him: 2wi 2wi ya roo7i. T7ibi ti3rafi eh?
Me : When am I going to see you again?
Him: Aiwa imsikeeni ba2a min eleed illy btiwga3.
Me : T3ibt min elsafar?
Him: Howa ana lama bab2a m3aki bab2a msafir? Elmafrood ini fi baiti.
Me : Is that a trick question?
Him: Ya sitti. Wala trick wala 7aga. Asl illy eedo filmaya mish zay illy eedo filnar.
Me : Ana eedi filmaya?
Him: La. Bas ana eedi filnar.
Me : Salamtak min elnar.
Him: Tislameeli. Hah bardo mish 3ayza t2ooli malik?

And I really, really wanted to tell you then. But I let the moment pass. And now I feel like somehow I will regret it.

Sad.

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9 Comments:

Blogger Um Naief said...

call your husband and tell him. plain and simple.

you are his wife. you are pregnant. no matter if he didn't want a child right now, you are pregnant.

TELL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8/07/2008 10:57:00 PM  
Blogger Hazel said...

You are lucky to have gotten pregnant again. I had my miscarriage at 3 months and am still miserable over it. Tell your husband, he will be happy this time

8/08/2008 02:54:00 AM  
Blogger Jade said...

Loulou,
Congratulations on your pregnancy dear & inshallah everything will be fine. It's about time to tell your husband, but make sure to say it like you've just found out & not that you've been hiding it...
Be ready for the reaction - reactions over the phone suck!

Good luck & take good care of yourself.
J

8/08/2008 02:53:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

Well I told him.

He went all silent.

And then started asking medical questions. About how I'm feeling and which doctors should be taking care of me etc....

Then it was whether I will be ok flying and for how long and what it will mean if I have the baby here or there.

I felt like his patient not his wife.

When I said so, he said his wife shouldn't be pregnant by herself in another country but that it was what I wanted.

So I asked him if he was upset or mad at me, he said no point. No point? What does that mean? Yes or No?

Asked him if he wasn't just a little bit excited about becoming a father. Got the feeling he didn't really want to think about that. That he'd rather jump right in and keep busy making plans.

Ever the pragmatist.

It's a relief to have told him. But I wish he could have found it in himself to be happy - instead of acting like it's just another problem and going into damage-control mode. It would have given me so much reassurance.

As it is, I guess I have my work cut out for me helping him adjust.

8/08/2008 04:56:00 PM  
Blogger Um Naief said...

i agree w/ jade... expect a reaction and reactions suck over the phone.

my husband was in shock when i told him. i wanted excitement as well, but w/ him, it took a while for him to come to grips w/ it. men have this thing where they expect so much of themselves and to think they're bringing in a child that they'll be responsible for on so many different levels.. they seem to not handle it well... or at least some.

he'll be happy... no worries.

i'm glad he was asking all the medical questions, but i don't like how it was no big deal that you'd be there alone or was he speaking of only the temporary?

i'm glad you told him.

8/09/2008 12:18:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...

He means that he always hated the idea of me being pregnant and alone but that he knows it's what I want.

Before he had to leave, he was opposed to the idea of pregnancy because it was too soon, we just got married.

Now he's opposed because I'm here on my own.

Why can't he focus on parenthood without worrying about the time and place of it? Or the fact that it doesn't fit in with the plan somehow?

To me, these are just insignificant details in the face of actually, finally having a baby. If I have any anxiety it's for the baby.

And he didn't once mention the baby. It was me and my health and my doctor - like I was seriously ill instead of pregnant.


:(

8/09/2008 03:35:00 AM  
Blogger Just a Girl said...

Jd was very much the same. For men, it's different. I don't think it seems real to them. For some it is very abstract until your belly is big and he can feel the baby move. For Jd, it wasn't "real" until our daughter was born and he could see and hold her. Your husband's reaction isn't out of the ordinary. I too, wished Jd had been excited or happy or something like that but that isn't the sort of man he is. Don't worry, K will come around. Best wishes.
Jane

8/09/2008 03:48:00 PM  
Blogger Um Naief said...

i agree w/ jane and i can totally understand how you feel! hubby disappointed me when i told him. i,like both of you, wanted screaming, jumping up and down (yeah, kidding here! ;) ), but instead got "are you serious? OMG"!

and jane's right, it wasn't until my belly was huge and he could feel the baby that he got really excited. now, he took care of me well and was very protective, but he really started showing excitement at that point.

my husband is much like yours in many ways. i think his not talking about the baby is based on the fact that it isn't really 'real' to him yet. yeah, your pregnant... but it's sorta like it doesn't exist until he actually can see it.

why does he think you wanna stay there by yourself while pregnant? is that what you want? if so, i think you'll want someone w/ you later in your pregnancy... just in case you need someone.

i'm so happy for you. i know how much you've wanted to get pregnant, and even though your husband doesn't think the time is right and such, it'll all change once the baby is born... believe me! it all changes then.

i wish i lived near to ya... would love to hang out and talk baby! :)

how are you feeling? have you ever thought about painting?? especially while you have free time?

8/10/2008 03:34:00 PM  
Blogger Rain said...

Alsalamo 3lkom,

How r u Lou?? i hope u r ok...

8/13/2008 05:12:00 PM  

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