Saturday, August 05, 2006

For better or worse

Woke up this morning and he was on the phone with his office, taking the week off. Guess he finally decided he just wasn't presentable enough in his condition. Depressing reminder of the current state of affairs.

Went into the bathroom and stood under the shower. Cold shower. Haven't dared to use any hot water since my memorable encounter with it the day I burned myself. I think I developed a phobia and will be having cold baths and cold showers for the rest of my life.

When I came out of the bathroom about half an hour later he was still on the phone. Two lines. His office on one line and he was calling the patients on the other line. For some reason I got irritated. I wanted to speak to him. He was too long on the phone.

Me: Can't M(the receptionist) handle that?
Him: If someone is going to have their surgery rescheduled on short notice and through no fault of their own, then they deserve that I should speak to them in person.
Me: I want to talk.
Him: Let me finish.

What choice did I have?Am only his wife. I went into the kitchen to get us some coffee. While it brewed I had a couple of cigarettes. When I went back into the bedroom he was finally off the line.

Me: Can I talk now?
Him: Tayeb ooly saba7 elkhair, saba7 elsa3ada wala ay saba7.(At least say good morning.)
Me: Saba7 Elkhair?Wain elkhair?(Good morning?What's so good about it?)
Him: Ya sitti rabena mowgood. (He's telling me that God exists i.e. good exists)
Me: You're taking this very well.
Him: And you're not.
Me: Ana khayfa. (Am scared)
Him: Khayfa min eh?(Scared of what?)
Me(getting a little irritated): I don't like having to wonder if you're going to be imprisoned or deported or disgraced. Little things like that worry me. I think it would greatly improve the quality of my life if I didn't have to deal with such concerns on a regular basis.
Him: Point taken. You're right. Ana asif(I'm sorry).
Me: And I didn't like seeing you like that.

He just looked at me.

Me: Did you hear what I said?
Him: Did I look like I was enjoying myself when you saw me like that?
Me: No.
Him: Then I probably didn't like seeing me like that either.
Me: Do you want to talk about this at all?
Him: No.
Me: I don't want to nag.
Him: Then don't. It's not a good time.
Me: Tayeb. Do you want some breakfast?
Him: No. I want you to come back to bed. If I'm doing time or getting deported then I want a proper goodbye.

I started crying.

Me: I smell like an ashtray.
Him: It's ok.
Me: You hate that smell.
Him: I'll live with it.
Me: Do we have time?We're waiting for a call.
Him: We'll let it ring. No rush. We won't miss anything good.

When we first met there were all these endless telephone conversations when I would be too sleepy to concentrate but not wanting to stop talking and lose the connection with him, I'd start talking rubbish. Disjointed, incoherent phrases that we would laugh together over the next morning as he recounted them to me. He's the only person I ever literally talked myself into that kind of oblivion with.

In that sense, making love with him is sometimes like falling asleep. The way I gradually lose track of what I'm saying or thinking, the way I start saying anything just to hear my own voice and his voice talking back, laughing or just repeating my name. Anything to keep the verbal contact.

Sometimes I say things I don't mean for him to hear. And I know he's aware of them - even when I myself can't always remember what I said given that his mind is always clearer than mine. But we've reached a sort of unspoken agreement that he never acknowledges that, never asks me questions. Not unless I bring it up myself.

So when he asked me afterwards if I still wanted to talk I said no. The need wasn't there anymore.

The call didn't come until about eleven o'clock. And he is going to be charged with assault. That was hard. There are several types of assault. Some of them result in fines but most he would have to do time for. For a few hours we didn't know which type, that was supposed to be determined by the investigation which wasn't reassuring given the fact that people here vote with their nationality and most of the witnesses were the same nationality as the driver.

Eventually though it turned out that not all the witnesses were liars - thank God. So he was charged with an offence that has a maximum sentence of 16000 dhs fine for first offenders. Still not good news because it would end up on his record and would create all sorts of problems when he tried to renew his residency and mine since am on his visa.

Later the district attorney himself told us that given the testimonies about my accident, my medical report as mitigating circumstances and a sympathetic judge, he would probably be found innocent in court. Yes he will have to face trial. So that's the only chance that he'll come out of this unscathed. And they won't release his passport until after the trial. Given the bureaucracy here that could be months. Months of nerve-racking and he won't be able to travel. We just have to hope he won't need to travel for work during this period. That would be very, very embarrassing.

An Emarati friend of my father's called while we were with the district attorney. He asked me why I didn't call him right away - that it would have been much easier for him to do something before the case reached the district attorney's office. I felt stupid for not thinking of that before. In this country - like most of the ME - connections are what gets you out of situations like this. My husband doesn't have connections here. He only arrived 2 years ago and he doesn't get out much. But I grew up here and my parents know people. Still my father's friend promised to do his best to get the passport released asap.

So now I'm still worried but am also relieved. I know it could have turned out much worse than this. At least he's home with me and I don't have to worry that he's going to be locked up anymore.

I still can't find it in me to feel sorry for the driver though. He's in pretty big trouble because it seems they found alcohol and narcotics in his blood so he's probably going to be charged with about 25 offences. He will go to prison and then he will be deported. That man is dangerous and should be off the streets. A police officer was telling us that there was a woman in Dubai who threw herself out of a moving taxi because the driver wouldn't stop when she told him to and she didn't know where he was taking her. And that she broke her neck. I was lucky. That man could really hurt someone.



Blogger Twosret said...

very sorry to hear the news, albi maa'ki Loulou this is hard but at least thank God he doesn't have to do anytime in Jail, I was really worried about that (sent you an e-mail btw).

Please try not to discuss anything negative with him now I agree with him this is a very bad time, I know it is hard but if you can be loving and supportive at the moment that will be great as he really need you.

8/06/2006 12:39:00 AM  
Blogger Crazy Girl said...

Maa3lesh ya loulou..Law in the Me isnt really law..At least he will always be by your side. Ishaa allah it wont be bad.

Best of luck

8/06/2006 07:13:00 AM  
Blogger 2 B || ! 2 B ® said...

Rabina mawgood :) so don't worry isA all things will turn out to be just fine, but make sure that you gain some benefits from your connections there.

and keep us updated, have a good day.

8/06/2006 07:27:00 AM  
Blogger Safiya said...

Alhamdulilah he won't have to suffer anything more then a fine at the worst, insha Allah.

The main thing is this taxi driver will be taken off the streets. As you said, it could have been so much worse, it seems so strange that he is treated as the victim!

8/06/2006 07:44:00 AM  
Blogger Puppy said...

Connections means a lot. Here in Baku too.

Hope a friend of your dad can solve the issue.

Take it easy Loulou, everything will be fine. Believe me, i know ;)

Best wishes,


8/06/2006 10:23:00 AM  
Blogger tooners said...

wow, that sounds very scary... the taxi drivers there and seeing this guy had narcotics and alcohol in his sytem... no wonder he did what he did. i'm glad that he will be deported. thankfully, many taxi drivers here are bahraini and don't act like that.

it's good to know ppl that can help w/ this case. i hope your husband gets off w/out any problems... and hopefully he won't have to travel for work and no one will be the wiser.

8/06/2006 11:57:00 AM  
Blogger roora said...

elhamdallah ya loulou, and i am sorry to hear these news, i know it was draa for you lately , elhamdAllah that it is fine , enshaaAllah things would be sorted out regarding resdidency.

thanks God, it could of been worse

8/07/2006 01:35:00 PM  
Blogger Herlock Sholmes said...

Well, at least the other guy is in the hospital...

8/07/2006 03:06:00 PM  
Blogger Alina said...

Lou, I'm really sorry to hear about all this and am happy at the same time that you are heading for the easiest possible way out. However, I cannot say I can blame K in any way. I might be a girl, but I guess I would have reacted in the same way if something like that happened to someone I love. Yeah, people should stop and think, but sometimes the disgust and the fear of seeing a loved on hurt is much stronger.

On a lighter note, just immagine the bruises on little old me after picking a fight with a cab driver!

8/07/2006 10:16:00 PM  
Blogger Zanoubia said...

Loulou let me tell u that i adore ur blog i spent 3 days not doing anything but reading it. it's magical the way u write the long conversations between u and K. i'm charmed.
P.s:don't worry isA everything will be fine just stop worrying plz

8/08/2006 04:54:00 PM  
Blogger Jannah said...

lol zanoubia 3 days! I took Loulou's blog 6 hours straight. Learned alot... Allah yawafa2ek isA ya Loulou.

What your husband did is typical here in Egypt. That's why I'm kinda surprised how ur confused why he was so violent. To me it's normal, men here fume if anyone hurt or harmed their wife, sister or just a girl who looks polite with no one to protect her.
They even made a T.V show out of it!!!! A woman (from the show) would scream in the street pretending a guy(also from the show) was calling her names. So all these men from the street would beat him up esp the first guy who'd come to save her. Then the woman would scream to the new guys who gather around claiming that the "good guy" (ordinary man trying to protect her) has tried to touch her! so now everyone would start beating the good guy up!!! and then yaaaaay ur on camera... TEZEE3? (agree to show it on T.V?) the man would "proudly" answer: Azeee3, tab3an! (Yes I agree, of course).

inshAllah your husband will get his passport back soon. and 7amdollah that it didn't turn out worse... 7amdollah.

8/08/2006 11:43:00 PM  
Blogger Highlander said...

Hi Loulou, I've been away for a while caught up in the Lebanon frenzy. I just realised how much I've missed on your blog and how much has happened to you. I'm glad you are recovering from your multiple accidents.

You know I would not blame K at all for what he did , I would be disapointed if my husband did not stand between me and harms way. In a fight or flight situation, the way you described the action,there are only split seconds available to make a decision . Which means life or death. Your own brother would have done the same thing believe me !

I'm appalled at the rudeness of the drivers in the UAE.
Also ya Loulou you may need to go easy on K , he really is a nice man so don't overanalyse things.

Hopefully all will be sorted out re. residence etc...use your wastas if you have too, they are cultivated for such a day.

Jannah I am LOL here they had a show on TV ? it must have bee hilarious.

8/09/2006 04:19:00 AM  
Blogger forsoothsayer said...

walla yehemk ya benti...slap on the wrist, seriously. he will absolutely not serve time. he may not even be found guilty, if i read racism aright, and he does sort of have a legal excuse.
go and have lots of sex, and stop crying :)

8/09/2006 01:22:00 PM  
Blogger Twosret said...


Loulou obviously took your advice at heart and she will be absent for a while :)

8/11/2006 08:43:00 AM  
Blogger Twosret said...

*took your advice to heart*

8/11/2006 08:44:00 AM  
Blogger Libyan Violet said...

Hello Loulou, I hope you are not blogging because you are having fun with K being off for a week. We missed you .

8/14/2006 01:23:00 AM  
Blogger La Gitana said...

I hope everything's alright Loulou, udate soon!

8/17/2006 02:07:00 PM  

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