Thursday, July 13, 2006

This week

So I spent most of this week in Dubai. My manager did send me for training like I was afraid he would. I knew it. He never could stand it if we look like we're not under enough pressure.

At first I didn't want to actually stay in Dubai. I thought I could drive back and forth. But my husband said no he doesn't like the idea of my driving all this distance alone late at night. So what happened was that he would drive out to see me after work. Then he would get up early in the morning & go back to work in Abu Dhabi. He did it 4 nights in a row. And I never asked him to. Every night I'd go back to my hotel room expecting he won't come tonight since he must be tired from last night but I find him there. I'm happy. It's nice that he'd drive all this distance just to spend the night with me. It's got to mean he loves me a little no?

So it winds up being the best week we ever had together. Apart from the honeymoon that is. That was in a class of its own. But this week was good. The miscarriage and the tensions over the baby issue created some barriers. This week I didn't feel them there anymore. They're gone. I hope for good. And the effect on my mood was immediate & noticeable. Am calmer and more relaxed than I've been in a while. And I haven't been blogging. I always blog less when am happy. Seriously it's strange how much easier it is to blog when you've got something to worry or rant about.

Tonight am alone though. He's out with his friends. They're playing with their motorcycles. Men are little boys when it comes to their toys no? I worry when he's out on that thing. But I haven't called him yet. I decided to stay in tonight because having been away all week I had quite a few things to do around the house. I know he deserves sometime to himself but a little voice inside my head keeps whispering is it that he's had enough of me? Because I haven't had enough of him. But so far I've ruthlessly suppressed it. Am not going to allow stupid doubts & insecurities to ruin my mood. Am even going to try to perform a miracle tonight. Am very tired since I hardly slept all week so am not going to wait up for him. Am going to sleep the minute I finish writing this. And that will be a miracle because I ALWAYS wait up for him. Of course I'll go to sleep hoping he'll wake me when he does get in but if he doesn't am not going to feel disappointed in the morning. Am quite resolved.

Nothing very blogworthy happened last week. Some stupid Behavioral Management course. Lots of reading material and as usual a test on the last day. We'll get the test results next week but I know I passed. Even though I never read a line. The questions were insultingly easy. Common-sense really. You didn't need the course to know the answers. Just an average IQ.

Oh actually something did happen. I have a Moroccan girlfriend in Dubai. I've known her a couple of years now. She's in IT too. We worked together on a project in Dubai 2 years back and I guess you could say we hit it off. I don't have many friends here from my country so I value her friendship a lot.

This week she insisted that I have to come eat at her house during my lunchbreaks while am in dubai. I'd never been to her house or met her family before - even though she'd been to my house in Abu Dhabi(before I got married) several times. When I tried to suggest we should go out for lunch instead she got all sensitive & said maybe I didn't want to visit her because her family was blue-collar & mine is white-collar. Or something like that. It made me angry that she would say that because I would never think like that. Infact when my husband - who is an unapologetic social snob sometimes - made some comment to that effect I went ballistic on him. I just don't enjoy house visits that much. I prefer to meet my friends outside - especially when am in Dubai. But because I didn't want her to think what she seemed to think I decided to make a point of going over everyday for lunch the 4 days I spent in Dubai.

The first two days were fine. On the third day I was helping her father with the dishes in the kitchen after we ate & he started telling me dirty jokes. I was shocked & revolted. You don't expect this sort of thing from your friend's parent. In our culture friends' parents are these father-figures. You address them as '3ammo' or 'uncle'. And this man goes to the mosque, is never without his prayer beads & always has Quran tapes playing in the house.

So on the fourth day I tried to get out of going over to her house again. I called her to say I had to study etc....& she said hold on my father wants to speak to you. When he came on the line, he started making references to some of the dirty jokes he told me the day before - presuambly out of earshot of the rest of his family. Then her mother came on the line & started saying how they were expecting me & they cooked special things for me & insisting that I have to come. And her sisters did the same. Her mother & her sisters were kind of sweet actually. What could I say? That I was sorry but the father was too sleazy & it made me uncomfortable?

In the end I didn't go. I don't think I'll be visiting her again. Not while she still lives at home anyday. If I tell my husband he'll insist her father behaved this way because he's uneducated & uncultured & doesn't know any better & he'll say I told you so. Which will piss me off. I know sleazeballs exist in all social and economic classes.

It was just an unpleasant thing to experience at a friend's house. I hope it won't become too much of an issue between me & her.

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7 Comments:

Blogger Safiya said...

I'm glad your blogging break was for mostly good reasons

As for the sleazy guy - is it halal to use a taser on such people? I'm sure it might be ;)

7/14/2006 04:19:00 AM  
Blogger Jane said...

I'd say your husband loves you quite a bit. Am glad to hear that you two were able to enjoy some time together.

As for your friend's father, he sounds like what we call in the States a "dirty old man". I don't blame you for avoiding him. What else could you have done? You shouldn't have to go somewhere to be made to feel uncomfortable.

7/14/2006 04:58:00 AM  
Blogger programmer craig said...

As a guy who has a "pervert" father himself, I can sympathize with you and your freind both. I was hesitant to bring my own wife around my Dad, while I was married. Luckily, my wife thought it was "cute" and thought my Dad was "charming" so she wasn't offended, but I was. Not sure what makes some guys like that, but it can be a major embarrassment for everyone ;(

7/14/2006 09:46:00 AM  
Blogger Puppy said...

Good to hear that everything is ok, and you all that positive. As long as the break of blogging was because u were happy then we are happy with you. And its so true that people blog or write diaries when they are sad, or emotionally disturbed. Even I started posting lately, which although is not a good sign.

I think its very sweet to drive all way to Dubai and back, in order to spend time with you for all that days. I mean just great for both of you.
As for a parent of your friend, ma3lesh, he is old, u don’t know may be he has some problems, u know some ppl become a bit weird when they are old.

Best wishes,


Puppy.

7/14/2006 10:58:00 AM  
Blogger tooners said...

just ignore old men like this. i think something happens to men when they get old. ;) try not to let it affect your friendship w/ his daughter. the father prob thought you were so cute and couldn't help himself. sometimes i think men like this need to, in any way possible, reassure themselves that they are still have and 'have it'.

glad to hear that you and the hubby had such a good time. it shows a lot that he drove to dubai every night to be w/ you. i've heard traffic is a nightmare there. sounds like you guys had a nice little 2nd honeymoon!

7/17/2006 10:45:00 AM  
Blogger tooners said...

oops, i meant:

he probably wanted to reassure himself that he was still 'young' and still 'had it'.

altho... i could understand your not wanting to continue the conversation on the phone. i know it would have bothered me too.

7/17/2006 10:47:00 AM  
Blogger Faisal said...

Or it could be that your friend's father really didn't know other ways of socializing. Maybe he was tense, or nervous and then did the first thing that he would have done if he was sitting with his peers.

His brain probably reverted to it.

Just hazarding a guess though.

Wait! Maybe he just doesn't think it's wrong. Did he seem to be lewd about it?

8/19/2006 07:06:00 PM  

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