Friday, July 07, 2006

Two Convos I Can't Believe I Had

Her: K looks so hot today.
Me : Do you mind? My husband looks hot everyday.
Her: Maybe but today he's different. I still want to have his babies.
Me : You can't. You're married. He's married. To me. Your friend. Besides he doesn't want to have babies.
Her: What?!!You mean not at all?
Me : Well not anytime soon.
Her: How old did you say he was?
Me : I didn't. He's 32.
Her: Shou(What)? He's younger than me?
Me : So?
Her: I don't like younger men.
Me : Am relieved to hear it.
Her: Damn. Now I have no one to watch.
Me : You could watch P. He's hot. And he's definitely older than you.
Her: I know but he looks - I dunno - too refined.
Me : Excuse me? You mean my husband looks like a Neanderthal?
Her: No but K has that look.
Me : What look?
Her: He looks like a guy who should have lots of women. And dozens of off-spring - not all legitimate.
Me : I think you should stop reading those historical romances. They're messing up your brain.
Her: No seriously. I think if he was an actor he could play Haroon AlRashid.
Me : Haroon AlRashid was short, half-bald, had a paunch, wore funny-looking clothes & had concubines. And he ordered political assassinations. I'm offended.
Her: Have you seen Haroon AlRashid? No one knows for sure how those people looked. I think he looked like K.
Me : Excuse me? Since when are you & my husband on nickname basis?
Her: I wouldn't call him that to his face. Besides I don't know what you're complaining about. You fantasize about my husband too.
Me : I DO NOT!!!
Her: You did. On my wedding day. Do you think I could ever forget?
Me : Oh that. I fantasized about everyone that day. I was just single & really frustrated.
Her: Maybe I'm frustrated too.
Me : You?Why are you frustrated?
Her: Well my husband is out of town. And I've got hormones.
Me (staring at her): Are you pregnant?!!!
Her: How did you know?
Me : Just remembered the last time you started talking about sex with men & lots of other women. Pregnancy seems to get you in the mood for orgies. Mabrook!

I kissed her.

Her: Tislami 7abibti(Thanks). Yeah I see sex everywhere. I imagine everyone naked. And he had to pick now to go abroad. Very insensitive.
Me : Ma3laih(It's ok). He's a man. He doesn't know any better.
Her: And I'll bet he expects me to be faithful while he's away.
Me : Ma yist7eesh.(He has no shame)
Her: Ibn 7aram.(He's a bastard)
Me : Howa illy ibn 7aram?(HE'S a bastard?)
Me : I hope he's coming back soon.

Later today - at home:

Me : Do you think you might have any illegitimate children?
Him : Afandem(Excuse me)?
Me : I was just wondering if you might have made a mistake a long time back when you were young & stupid.
Him : No.
Me : No?
Him : I might have been that young once a long time ago but I was never that stupid.
Me : Oh.
Him : You sound disappointed.
Me : Who?Me?La tab3an(Of course not).
Him : Inama inti btisa'ali leh?(But why do you ask?)
Me : Just wanted you to know that if you did have any illegitimate children that you've been wanting to adopt but haven't been saying incase I might not like it, that it's ok with me.
Him : You would raise these hypothetical illegitimate children?
Me : Yes.
Him : You'd do anything for a child wouldn't you?
Me : It's not about that.
Him : Then what is this about?
Me : Nothing. Just didn't want you to feel you have to hide this sort of thing from me.
Him : I don't feel I have to hide anything. I7na hankhaf wala eh?(Do you think I'm scared)
Me : La astagfirullah(No God forgive me for suggesting that).
Him : And you felt inspired to tell me that kida min ghair monasba(just out of the blue)?Ya3ni eh masalan illy khalaki t7issi ini mi7tag a3raf 7aga zay kida(What made you feel I need to know something like that)?
Me : I didn't say you needed to know. I said I wanted you to know.
Him : Ana mutashakir gedan.(Thank you very much.)
Me : 3afwan.

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7 Comments:

Blogger A Better Life said...

Is it any wonder that men can't figure women out?

7/07/2006 11:53:00 PM  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

hehehehehehehehe i love you guys sooooooooooooo much may God bless you both hehehehehehehehehe i swear everytime i start feeling that BM and I had nothing in common and it was all a mistake, i come to this blog and find you writing things that i went through with BM but in different plots akeed and it assures me more that what we had was the next best thing to love ... weird unexpected ways of love! Thank you loulou for cheerng up my heart may the smile never leave your life ;) God bless you :)

PS: BM used to always tease me that i have to bring up his unofficial Bulgarian son whom he had from the fling when he was in Bulgaria hehehehehe You should see how i used to scare him with my answers or especially if I mention him among the kids we will need to feed and teach and raise hehehhe he started thinkging i was crazy heheheheheh he already knew i was crazier than him but not to that extent hehehehhehe

7/08/2006 09:06:00 AM  
Blogger Alina said...

Well, your conversation with your pregnant friend was really funny! But, Lou, K will never get why you told him that without more clues...And I am pretty sure you cannot give him all the juicy details. Therefore, when all fails: blame it on the hormones or on a woman's maternat instinct :)

7/08/2006 09:11:00 AM  
Blogger Twosret said...

Despite the fact that the conversation is funny, I don't allow my friends to mess with my better half even if it is just a joke. Ground rule that is :)

I Know I know I sound like Mostabada :)

7/08/2006 10:42:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

Better Life,

Not it's not any wonder.:)

ATC,

"Thank you loulou for cheerng up my heart may the smile never leave your life ;) God bless you :)'

Thank you. Nice to know I can cheer you up. Inshallah daymin.:)

Alina,

"Therefore, when all fails: blame it on the hormones or on a woman's maternat instinct :)"

I will. But not now. I enjoy confusing him sometimes.

Twosret,

She wasn't messing with him. She was messing with me. Don't listen to her. She's all talk. She's really shy around men. She barely speaks to him. My friends & I just like to tease each other. I've done more or less the same at times.

7/09/2006 08:39:00 AM  
Blogger Puppy said...

"She wasn't messing with him. She was messing with me. Don't listen to her. She's all talk. She's really shy around men. She barely speaks to him."

Then the conversation is really funny :) and congratulations to your friend with pregnancy.


Cheers,

Puppy.

7/09/2006 10:11:00 AM  
Blogger Herlock Sholmes said...

lol Priceless... I am surprised he didn't ask you the same question

7/11/2006 11:39:00 AM  

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