Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Calling II

It's 1:33AM & he's out watching the match with his friends. I barely got to see him today but in my newfound determination to give him space & stop acting like the neurotic, demanding woman am NOT I made no attempt to contact him all day. Until about 8:30pm. That's when he gets off work in the evenings. I wanted to know if he'd come home first & then go out to watch the match or if he was going to see his friends straight from work. But how to know when am resolved not to call or sms him? Wait? No that would drive me insane.

Went out for dinner with some friends. It was supposed to distract me but the thing about being married is that you can't appear in public alone without everyone who arrives asking you where he is & everyone who leaves telling you to give him their salams(greetings). It's an Arab thing. "Salmeelna 3laih". They think they're being polite when they do that. You can't really respond that thanks but well am actually trying not to think of him at the moment.

So in the end I sent him an sms. A perfectly innocent one. Nothing about missing him or being worried etc...Nothing about love or anything threatening like that. Have taken to sending him non-threatening, inconsequential messages these days. Saying things like "The sky looks purple from where am sitting. Do you think it's pollution?" or "A woman who resembles your sister is moving in next door. Do you think we should move?"

I always make sure they end with a question in the hope that he would recognize the question mark at the end as a very strong indicator that a response is required & would be greatly appreciated.

Well he didn't respond tonight. No show, no call. Not until just now that is. I just received an sms. The exact words are "Few hrs and nothing strange from you. I am getting worried. Are you alright?"

I smsed back "Sarcasm?"

And he answered "Not on your life. Missed you."

Am confused. But am not pushing my luck. Not going to send him anything. Am going to wait until he comes home. Unless HE sends something that has a question mark at the end.

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10 Comments:

Blogger Twosret said...

Loulou,

I think you need to establish a system here:) (look at me talking to a project manager). I think you need to hear from him during the day. You might want to suggest nicely to him that it will be nice if he calls you when he has a minute between patients.

Also you should be able to call him at least once or twice a day to touch base.

I would go crazy if I don't speak with my husband twice a day, it is normal. When he is very busy I don't call him and wait for him to call.

Howa ya no calls ya calls and worry.

La2a ya Loulou mosh kedda, da enti lessa 3arousa bardo :)

7/05/2006 06:06:00 AM  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

Loulou,

This was the same situatation between me and BM. he never called or asked or anything but he always expected me to take care of this issue. o if a day passes by and i didn't all he used to call at night to check if i am alright and where have i been all day and didn't check on him. So i think in your husband's case it is the same. He takes it foregranted that you take care of these calling and checkng on him issues and YES he does miss it and Yes he does like it and TRUST ME it doesnot annoy him. What annoys him is when you start asking him why don't you call or sms me like i do to you or when you say that you love him more because you worry about him more and keep on asking about and his whereabouts more.

7/05/2006 08:37:00 AM  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

tworset,

"You might want to suggest nicely to him that it will be nice if he calls you when he has a minute between patients."

Trust me i tried it millions of times with BM to the extent that i told him don't you have a minute during the day for when Nature Calls or to have lunch or drink water or anything... But to no avail! He would laugh or get upset from my nagging or tries to call me for two days and on the third day we are back to normal no phone calls nothing!

7/05/2006 08:40:00 AM  
Blogger Alina said...

Lou, seems like your system might pay off! Maybe I'll try it, now that K is going to Constanta a few days every week and I am the one initiating the phone calls mostly...It will be good practice from when he moved there :D

7/05/2006 09:41:00 AM  
Blogger Puppy said...

People above commented everything out of their experience that men generally not calling/smsing type.

Out of what I read in the post I see that patience is being rewarded, the sms he sent was nice and funny :) Surely like any other men he likes being cared and ur smses and calls if they are in right time (unfortnately u never know when its right) are accepted with pleasure.

Regarding ur smses about weather, pollution, sky, that is so funny he will never reply on that even if u will put 10 question marks, they are accepted as a spam. I mean don’t be offended, but if u write sms with an intention to have a reply it should be something with an intrigue, teasing, with dual meaning, naughty in a way, but surely not kinda “the sun is shining, the weather is good”, believe me. I am recognized as “make him sms you non stop” person among my friends. I consult them on sms, quite successful. I even write sms-wording for my sis. And as an “expert” I am saying he will never reply for that type of smses:)

Try to distract yourself, be patient, write RIGHT smses and you will see the reward like him smsing or even calling ;)

Best wishes,

Puppy.

7/05/2006 12:18:00 PM  
Blogger Leilouta said...

When I get annoyed with my husband I try to distract myself by going to the mall or visiting a friend etc..I end up thinking about our disagreement and wondering how he can go on like that without calling me. I can't understand how when we argue he can still laugh and have fun with his brother when I am boiling inside.What drives me even crazier is when he falls asleep when I am arguing. I usually wake him up and continue my nonsense :)

7/05/2006 09:37:00 PM  
Blogger Twosret said...

Around the clock,

I think if he doesn't want to call, we can't force him really. We just need to stop worrying then. If he needs his space so be it.

Marriage is about compromises. It might be a good idea to get used to it and let him call if he wants to?

7/06/2006 10:37:00 PM  
Blogger forsoothsayer said...

see? it worked!
now u have to sex his brains out next time u get a chance.

7/07/2006 03:26:00 PM  
Blogger Twosret said...

F.,

You are a dangerous woman :)

7/07/2006 05:16:00 PM  
Blogger tooners said...

good system you have going here. men like suspense... i've noticed that w/ my husband.

like you, i tend to think about him a lot, even when out w/ others especially if i haven't spoken to him or haven't had a lot of time w/ him.

i think your hubby will be running to you soon. :)

7/08/2006 12:38:00 PM  

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