Wednesday, January 03, 2007


In a long-past incident, in response to a request that he should try to be less physical with me in public because people were looking at us, he asked scathingly what are we supposed to do?Hold hands?

Like that was a really outrageous, unacceptable suggestion.

My husband will NOT be seen holding my hand. Never. Oh he doesn't mind sitting with an arm around my shoulders or walking with his arm around my waist etc...He would hug me or kiss me in public. Or play with my hair. Sometimes when I am playing hostess & I hand him a plate or something, he'll grab my hand & kiss it - even with people around.

But he will not hold my hand.

But why? I have often demanded. He doesn't like holding hands, he always explains. But why not? He just doesn't. He doesn't have anything more enlightening to offer than that.

So imagine my surprise when on New Year's Day, the two of us are sitting in the lobby of a hotel in Dubai, eating a big breakfast at 6:00am, having been out partying all night & feeling absolutely starved, and the following conversation takes place:

Him: Eh ya 7abibi? Your coffee must be cold.
Me : Freezing. You've been holding my hands for the last hour or so.
Him(hurriedly dropping my hands like they burned him, going red & not looking at me): Sorry. Uh...why didn't you say something?
Me : Say what? I have dreamed of this. Do you think I would blow it for a cup of coffee?
Him: Dreamed of what?
Me : Holding your hands. Now I can die happy.
Him(still not looking at me): Tab bas ba2a. Batali ghalasa.

I have a feeling he will never do it again. But why?


I have a nickname for him. It's a Frenchified version of his name & I think it's really cute. He has always professed to be horrified by it. Whenever I say it, he protests vehemently - after having looked over his shoulder to make sure no one heard.

I have always received saracastic comments like "Inti bitkalimi ibn okhtik?"(are you talking to your nephew?) in response to any attempt to baby him or pamper him. But I love to do that sometimes. When he's sick or tired or when am particularly pleased with him - I get so emotional I can't help pampering him.

And yet inspite of all that, I have persisted in using my favorite nickname for him. I would smile sweetly & call him by his nickname & then cringe, waiting for the inevitable explosion of sarcasm & protest. I enjoy teasing him like that sometimes. I admit it. And I got so much into it that I recently noticed that I hardly ever call him by his real name when we're alone together anymore.

So we're in the middle of this impasse, this morning, I happened to be watching when he first opened his eyes. I smiled sweetly & said good morning K(using his real name). It was a lapse. I was rushing around getting ready for work so didn't have the presence of mind to try to provoke him.

Him: Eh K di?Fi eh?(K?What do you mean K?What's wrong?)
Me : Na3am?(Excuse me?)
Him: Inti bt2ooli K leh?(Why are you calling me K(the real name?))
Me : Ismak ya 7abibi. (Your name, my love.)
Him: Aiwa bas inti min imta ya3ni btindahili bi'ismi?(Yes but since when do you call me by my name?) Inti mitday2a mini wala eh?(Are you mad at me?)
Me : Anadeelak bi'ismak ya3ni mitday2a? (Calling you by your given name means am mad at you?)
Him (sounding very disgruntled): Asl ana ba2ali kteer ma smi3toosh minik.(Well it's been quite a while since I heard it from you.)

I'm confused. Seriously though, what does he want from me now? Does he like the nickname or not?

Is there any explanation other than that he is just weird or mentally unbalanced about some things?



Blogger tooners said...

i love little nicknames and i love to talk like that to my husband, altho once when i did it, my SIL (his sister) got so bent out of shape w/ it that it embarrassed him and then made me mad - altho i didn't say anything to her about it. i think it's a terribly sweet gesture and only wish that he did it more w/ me! :)

1/03/2007 12:43:00 PM  
Blogger Puppy said...

Same story happened to me a few days ago. A friend of mine, female friend smsed me at 01:30 AM, replying to my earlier sms, which was sent during normal hours.
We do use nicknames for each other or I say her full name with an accent, anyways I wrote her in reply her full name (in my mind I said it with an accent ;)) saying why she writes me that late. When she immediately replied “are you mad at me?” I was very sleepy at that hour and smsed her back saying “no I am not, did I sound mad?” Then she sent another sms saying “no, everything is alright, MY NAME. Then I started having doubts that its her, my friend. I thought someone took her phone and smsing and referring to me, like my name in her phonebook. After my another sms, to check is its her, she told me “you see how strange it is when you are referring with full name”. So when we use nicknames in our day-to-day, then suddenly change it to full name that means something wrong. However that doesn’t explains why he was protesting before against that nickname, and I have no clue why he has problems with holding hands. Then why I am commenting?..... hmm :)

1/03/2007 01:32:00 PM  
Blogger Rambling Hal said...

:) Maybe he's PMSing???

Hehehehe, I think it has just grown on him, and the racket he makes about it annoying him is all for show, while deep down inside, he secretly loves that you have a cute little nickname for him.

You two are so cute!

1/03/2007 03:04:00 PM  
Blogger Carmen said...

The gentleman doth protest too much.

I agree with Hal...he absolutely LOVES being babied, but the macho in most men doesn't allow them to fully enjoy it.

1/04/2007 03:45:00 AM  
Blogger Maxxed`ouT said...

I never hold hands either.
It's too cheesy!

1/04/2007 05:11:00 AM  
Blogger Carmen said...

By the way, one of my favorite Beatles' songs is "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" because when I first started dating my boyfriend that's all I wanted to do with him. It took a while for him to get comfortable with it, but now I can't get him to stop holding it!!!

No complaints on my part though! :)

1/04/2007 06:05:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...

Carmen & Hal,

Well, I hope he likes being babied because if he doesn't, he'll still have to live with it!

I mean, I have an over-abundance of maternal instincts & he won't let me have a baby.:(

1/04/2007 10:48:00 AM  
Blogger SaRaH said...

Some people are just like tha havn't you been annoyed by something for no reason and about his nick name men do not like to be nick named but secretly enjoy it dont ask about the reason but it does happen so when you called him with his name he assumed something was wrong.

PS: I love reading the posts when you tease each other 8D

1/06/2007 02:04:00 AM  
Blogger askandarani said...

if he holds hands, he is a silly romantic. but having his arms around you is more macho

1/07/2007 12:41:00 PM  

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