Ramadan Reminiscences

First Friday of Ramadan

We're sitting in the living room watching TV just after the Friday prayers. His cell rings. It's a call from work. He's talking for a long time - explaining something to several hospital nursing staff - one at a time. Ya 7abibi long monologues always make him thirsty.

So am sitting there absorbed in some silly Arabic soap. From the corner of my eye, I see him get up, go to the kitchen, get a glass of water, come back, sit down, drink it, talk on the phone a bit longer, then get up to get another one. But somehow it doesn't click. Wasn't paying enough attention I guess.

Then I hear him from the kitchen:

Him: Ba2a ana 3amal ashrab maya min elsob7 winti saybani?(Am drinking water & you're just letting me?)
Me: Oh yeah what are you thinking?It's Ramadan daytime!
Him: Ya salam yakhti. Lama iftakarti. Ba3d kharab Malta?(Now you remember to tell me?)

So it's my fault he accidentally broke his fast. Sigh. I should've known it would somehow turn out to be my fault.


A few days later

My alarm goes off & I get up at 6:00am. For some reason I get confused and think it's 6:00pm i.e. time for Iftar. I get up in a panic, thinking we both overslept & missed Iftar & upset that I didn't get up in time to cook. Half asleep, I get up & wash my face, go to the kitchen, have a glass of water & some dates, then I rush around heating up leftovers, making juice etc...When I have the table ready, I go & wake him up. He stares at me, gets up, follows me into the kitchen, stares some more then bursts out laughing.

Am seriously offended at first. Ok so I didn't have time to cook an elaborate meal but that's no reason to laugh at my food. So I overslept. So what? So shoot me!

Then it hits me.


Not too long after

My second day off work. I find myself unable to sleep in as long as I want to. I start thinking of things to do. I get a bright idea. As I said before, my hair is an indeterminate, uninspiring shade of light brown. To liven it up a little, I've always opted for lightening it, using Sun-in, adding blonde highlights or just going for an all over lighter shade. Then my cousin - who has more or less the same coloring - went & colored hers a really dark, vibrant brown. I thought it looked great on her. So I decided to go darker for the first time in my life. I briefly considered blue black. But then I decided that would be too big a change, too hard to get used to. I thought I'd try a dark brown first then if I like it maybe I can go blue black later.

So I bought 2 boxes(yes my hair uses up 2) of trusted old L'Oreal hair color(choc brown), threw them into the bottom of a drawer & forgot all about them for ages until that idle morning in Ramadan when I suddenly remembered them.

In my excitement I rush to put on gloves, mix the color & start applying it on the front of my hair. Then it hits me that I'm wearing a very expensive robe that's actually part of one of my favorite sets. I wash my hands, take off the gloves & take off the robe to keep it out of harm's way.

Not the smartest thing I ever did. Coloring my hair while naked that it. It just meant getting haircolor stains all over my body, not to mention all over the bathroom. I am messy when I color my own hair. That's because I have wild uncontrollable hair but we've been through that.

Was about half-way through applying the haircolor when I saw my husband in the mirror. I didn't hear him come in because of course I had music blasting from the bedroom.

Normally that wouldn't be awkward at all. I mean, we're married right? But in Ramadan daytime, we're both fasting so we try to keep nudity to a minimum. So I froze a bit. He did too. Then I started telling myself well I was covered in peroxide & stinking of it to high heaven so that's got to have at least the same effect as clothing in terms of inhibiting the male libido etc....Or something equally stupid. I was desperate ok? There I was, without a piece of cloth in sight that I could pull on because I'd moved them all out of the bathroom - even the towels - for fear of getting choc brown haircolor on them. And he was just standing there, fully clothed STARING like he'd never seen me before. Not saying anything. I have never been so embarrassed. Then I mumbled something to the effect that I would like to wash my hair now. And he said ok & turned around & walked off.

Didn't wash my hair of course. But I'd figured out he must have wanted something from the bathroom. So I put my hair up without even coloring the rest of it. When it wouldn't all stay up, I wrapped a plastic bag around it. A plastic Co-op bag, that I was planning to use as garbage bag to line the dustbin. I cleaned up the bathroom as best as I could, took a quick shower only to discover that the color stains on my back weren't going to go away until they were good & ready which wasn't just then.

When I came out & shouted that he could go ahead if he wanted the bathroom, I thought I heard him swear at me! Something Egyptian & highly obscene. I wasn't sure. So I said na3am(excuse me)?And he said nothing, thanks. Then he asked where I was. I said in the kitchen. He was in the bathroom for a few minutes, then he left. Didn't actually see him leave.

Later, after Iftar, I asked if he'd said what I thought he said. He just looked at me & didn't say anything.

Last night I asked him again on the phone, he said he couldn't remember when he'd wanted me as much as that moment, that he was just frustrated because he couldn't do anything about it.

Mixed reaction to that. Am always pleased when he says he wants/wanted me but when after almost one year of marriage, your husband tells you that the moment he wanted you most was the moment when you were wearing nothing but peroxide, what does that say about you, him, all your best lingerie & what you should wear for him in the future?