Friday, June 16, 2006

Turning Corners

Me : Well how would you feel if you were in my office & you saw a male co-worker help me put on my jacket?
Him : Ma yi2darsh
Me : Yassalam. Laish la?
Him : Awalan inti(First) you don't take your jacket off at work 3ashan 7asab 3ilmi ya3ni inik mish bto3odi filmaktab in your bra(because as far as I know you don't sit in the office in your bra). Thaniyan ma 7adish tab3an yistagri yeegi gambik wana mowgood(Secondly no one would dare come near you in my presence). Willy yigarab ana hatala3 lik mayteen ommo.(And if anyone tries he will do something not very nice to their mother.) Inti btitkalimi fi badeehiyat ya3ni(That is a given).

The worst part is that he's right. All the men I know really watch their step when he's around. Forget touching me. They don't even talk to me as freely as they otherwise would despite my repeated assurances to them that it's ok, that he doesn't bite etc.... It's not fair. How come I can't scare other women off him the way he can scare other men off me?

Him : Why don't you just tell me what's on your mind?
Me : Considering the fact that in your arrogance you're not even worried you'll ever find yourself in such a position I guess there's no point in asking you to put yourself in my place when it happens to me. You couldn't imagine how it feels.
Him : Can we please get specific here?
Me : No
Him : Why not?
Me : I just don't feel like discussing it anymore. I think we have more important things to discuss.
Him : Ana ta7t amrik tab3an bas nifsi titaw3eeni wit2oolili 3ala illy ta3bik min ghair laf wala darawan wala moqaranat wi tashbeehat damaha t2eel. Sada2eeni haraya7ik.(It's up to you but I wish you would tell me what's bothering you without beating around the bush. Believe me I will make you feel better.)

Of course he managed to get it out of me in the end. All of it. I made sure I didn't accuse him of anything & stressed that I trusted him. I thought he took it pretty well actually. He said he said am probably blowing the whole thing out of proportion but that if am upset & there's something he can reasonably do about it, he will always do his best. Which I thought was sweet.

Then he added that the problem was that too often when am upset these days there's nothing he can do about it & that it actually makes him happy that am presenting him with a problem he can solve for a change.

This weekend had its difficult moments but all in all I loved it. I decided to surprise him with a weekend getaway. We had a chalet in Jebel Ali with a little private beach where we could spend a lot of time in the water together - something we haven't had a chance to do since the honeymoon because I don't wear swimsuits in public. And when we weren't in the water we did a lot of talking.

Am still not completely over the baby gloom but it's at a manageable level now so lately my priority has been trying to get him to forgive me for putting him through hell about it & for saying a lot of things I really shouldn't have said. Have been working on that for a few days now. He really knows how to hold a grudge. It takes a lot of 'dala3'(pampering) & a lot of time to coax him out of his bad moods. Typical Taurus. Doesn't get mad easily but when he does he REALLY gets mad. He hasn't been himself in a while & I was really missing him on top of everything else. I think with this weekend though we've turned the corner. Was actually scared he wouldn't even want to come.

I've got more to say but we just got back & we have to go to a wedding later. Lots of summer weddings this year. Will go & begin the mad rush to get ready in time now.

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7 Comments:

Blogger Alluring said...

See, things aren't bad at all when you actually discuss things wisely and calmly.

I knew things would fall back into their place, that's why i didn't comment on your previous post about the other woman.

Trust is the most important brick you should have in any relationship, it saves it and can easily make it collapse if it's not there.

Have fun at the wedding :)

6/17/2006 02:05:00 AM  
Blogger Alina said...

Lou, I am glad you've had all that time to talk, share, spend time together. I also think getting this whole nurse thing out is a good thing. I am pretty sure K will do something about it and if she gets agressive, at least he'll know also! :) On a brighter tone, I still think you should watch out for the vampire thing! :D

6/17/2006 09:13:00 AM  
Blogger Puppy said...

LouLou,

Really happy to hear/read that everything is ok.

As we all said before if something bothers you, talk to him, speak it up. Things will get better.

I wish you all the best and good luck.


Puppy.

6/17/2006 12:18:00 PM  
Blogger Twosret said...

This sounds so reasonable and reassuring. Great to hear you are okay and the situation is under control.

You never seize to amaze me :)

6/17/2006 08:08:00 PM  
Blogger forsoothsayer said...

so if u don't wear swimsuits in public how did u do so on ur honeymoon? mish fahma.

6/20/2006 03:19:00 AM  
Blogger Maxxed`ouT said...

forsooth
sometimes you remind me of the olive pit ...

6/20/2006 06:53:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...

forsooth,

We had our own swimming pool. A beach is nicer though.

Maxxed Out,

Olive pit?

Alluring,

It wasn't a trust issue. I never thought he was having an affair or anything. It's just that the combination of her hostility towards me which everyone was commenting about & her closeness to him got to be a bit aggravating. I felt sorry for her at first because I know what it's like to have feelings for someone who didn't return them & I made an effort to be friendly & help her accept the situation.

When that didn't work I decided to speak to him to see how he thinks I should handle her & also to put him on his guard. He needs to stop doing anything that she might see as encouragement.

Puppy/Twosret,

Thanks for the support. You guys are the best.

Alina,

I'd rather not think about the vampire thing. Would you want the vampire slayer so mad at you? Me neither. Scary.

6/20/2006 09:08:00 AM  

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