Great Lessons Marriage Should Have Taught Me
1) The words I-Love-You will often be replaced by the words I-Love-You-But. It's possible to love someone, tell them, have them say it back & believe them but still be unable to communicate. It IS possible. The song was right. Sometimes love just aint enough.
I should not allow this reality to make me feel rejected.
2) If you have great sex that's all it means. That you had great sex. It doesn't mean all your differences have been resolved or that you've been completely forgiven or that your partner has forgotten all your mistakes or is now going to do whatever you wanted them to do that they've been refusing to do.
I should not allow this reality to make me feel used.
Labels: Marriage
posted by LouLou @ 7:10 PM
12 Comments:
it should not make you feel refused. Because we all know from what we hear and experience that Love alone as absolute love doesn't mean that there is by default good communication. Or why we hear that people in their first year in marriage (even if they were in love for years) are starting to adapt each others differences ? Love is an indeed a fundamental component in marriage but must be accompanied with other things so that the relation would go on.
and you should not feel used as well :) or else he should feel the same way when you refuse to go in his way as well.
I would like to reply to the sex part but due to the under age readers, trolls, and privacy issues. I will keep my mouth shut :)
2 lessons learnt the hard way. (Shrug)
1- Love is never enough, it changes after being together for a while, those three words are abused and over used that it loses it's real meaning.
2- You can get what you want right before the great sex, never after ;)
And althoug you're right that it doesn't change anything from the facts that led to the act, it still means you still have it in you, the will to recieve and please, which in itself is a great way of communication.
PS.What does twosret mean, is your blog PG13? :P
Alluring,
Yeah lots of kiddos and one thing about the blogsphere I noticed, if you open your mouth and say one personal thing they take it and turn it against you:) Plus I'm not as lucky as Loulou. My husband and I believe in open door policy, open computer policy, open everything policy :)
Loulou,
"Should have"?
As a general rule, never believe anything anyone says to you right before, during or after sex.
thank God i already know these things :) i suppose they would be more useful lessons if indeed my boyfriend and i ever fought.
Roora,
"Because we all know from what we hear and experience that Love alone as absolute love doesn't mean that there is by default good communication."
Yes but when you're dating your biggest problem is whether he loves you. If he says I love you you're happy & you have no more problems. It's like these 3 words are the end of all arguments.
Twosret,
"I would like to reply to the sex part but due to the under age readers, trolls, and privacy issues. I will keep my mouth shut :)"
Come on. That's not fair. You can't tell me you have something to say & then not say it. Curiosity will kill me.:)
Mumbo Jumbo,
"2 lessons learnt the hard way."
Very hard way.
Alluring,
"You can get what you want right before the great sex, never after ;)"
Not me. He can get what he wants right before.:(
Nora,
Yes should have. Am thick. What can I do?
SM,
"As a general rule, never believe anything anyone says to you right before, during or after sex."
I'll try not to.
Forsooth,
"thank God i already know these things :)"
Good for you. I've got to work on being more of a cynic. After all am no starry-eyed teenager. Am almost 30. Am a woman of the world now right?
forsoothsayer,
With all due respect I have no worries about you in a fight whatsoever, from reading you I can tell that he will have to worry not you :)
Did someone say law school makes her mean?
Cheers
The second lesson is true, but if you have bad sex then it is 90% of the problem in a relationship according to Dr Phil :)
I don't think sex is as closely tied to a man's emotions as many women seem to think. I'd even go so far as to say it's more likely the man will get concessions from "good sex" than the woman. But, I think it's disastrous to try to use sex as a tool, for either men or women. I just wanted to say that to balance all the women's perspective I've seen here, I'm not looking for trouble :)
Leilouta, totally agree with Dr Phil... if there are problems in the bedroom, there are problems in the marriage.
LouLou, yes, love is not enough. I never stopped loving my ex-wife, and she never stopped loving me, but the last two years we were married were really horrible, for both of us. If there's any advice I can give, it's not to let things get to a point where you stop compromising with each other.
Post a Comment
<< Home