This morning I opened my eyes just in time to see him open his eyes. We woke up together, literally. Almost.
I can't believe he's here.
I can't stop saying that to him.
Now it's almost 2:00 am. He just fell asleep. And I am sitting here torn between waking him up so he can eat the sandwiches he said he wanted and then fell asleep in the time it took me to make - and just watching him sleep. I can't decide which I want to do more and it actually hurts that I can't do both.
It's been so long since I've had options like that.
Two pillars of my existence these days: that he's here and that am pregnant. And it's like I have to state both facts for myself a hundred times everyday for fear that all of a sudden through some unseen twist of fate they would both cease to be true. After all, for years, they were not and I'd gotten used to that I guess.
I am afraid, yes.
I am afraid.