Tuesday, August 07, 2007

So he leaves next Mon. No question of me moving to Morocco though. There's too much to do here. I've got to do something with both our cars, his motorbike, all our furniture, hand in the apartment etc.....

The packing. What a nightmare. When I moved in with him after the wedding, there was no room for all my stuff. Don't ask me how things I acquired when I had one bedroom in my parent's house wouldn't fit into a 3 bedroom apartment. They just didn't. I'd had years & years to accumulate them.

The answer back then was to send everything I wasn't using to Morocco with my parents. Now over the last year or so, I seem to have bought 10 times as much junk. New fields of shopping interest, you see. Bed linens, household appliances, tea sets, dinner sets, sets of everything, all kinds of automated cleaning gadgets that all promise magic.

It's daunting to think I now have to either pack & dispose of all this stuff, plus his stuff - on my own. I don't feel like doing any of it. I love this apartment. I love everything in it. And we both put so much effort into putting it all together, making it comfortable, finding just the right corner for everything etc....

Now I have to take it all apart & go live in a bedroom in somebody else's house.

And I've got to follow up all my immigration paperwork.

And start thinking about what I can do for work over there. I have to start looking through the business cards on my desk at work to see who I know with good contacts in my field in Sweden.

And then there are the language lessons. Have got to make some progress on those. Have got to be at least conversational when I get there if I want to find a decent job. Isn't it unfair how half my European colleagues have excellent jobs with obscene packages here even though they don't speak a word of Arabic but when it's my turn to work in Europe, I have to learn the language or earn peanuts? No fair!

Am trying to make the coming seperation as painless as possible for both of us. And being me, I know I am trying too hard. It's very high maintenance being so determinedly cheerful all the time when you're as depressed as I am. So much that I am seriously starting to wish he'd hurry up & leave so I can be miserable in peace. I have to stop myself from saying something along the lines of if you have to go, do it now, am sick of all the suspense.

Sigh. One of these days, I'll pick up the trick of doing things just right. Not too little & not to much.

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Blogger N said...

almost everyone in sweden is fluent in english, maybe if you look at multi nationals you wont need to know the language to land a good job..

8/07/2007 09:03:00 PM  
Blogger The Editor said...

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8/07/2007 10:43:00 PM  
Blogger Alina said...

When you eventually do, please share...And cheer up a bit, I am sure this all is temporary and you will soon have a good job, a beautiful apartment and most of your life back! :)

8/08/2007 03:04:00 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

i know exactly what u r going through...first i had to leave my almost brand new house in toronto and my to saskatoon...throwing away lots of things and not being able to keep too many baby stuff for my kids...and lived in a blah apt in saskatoon...then we left saskatoon throwing away all the stuff we accumulated in 2yrs to come to live in amman..and in a year i'll be doing the same thing again:( but hopefully just going back to my house in toronto and never ever every moving again..it is a lot of pain..and lots of work..but cheer up..nothing is worth it..at least u dont have kids crying because their toys are being left behind and given away..

8/08/2007 03:14:00 PM  
Blogger haal said...

it's such an overwhelming idea and feeling, especially when u feel you are doing it all alone with no help. well, enjoy it. Make it a time to only exercise what you really need and what is junk. un-needed accumulation of 'things'.

have fun and cheer up.

8/08/2007 06:36:00 PM  
Blogger haal said...

I am not sure I totally follow, are you moving to sweden for good? why is that?

8/08/2007 06:38:00 PM  
Blogger Sari said...

U'll do fine here in Sweden, whenever u want to learn more about Sweden or some swedish, don't hesitate to take contact...

Sari / Stockholm - Sweden

8/08/2007 06:55:00 PM  
Blogger Um Naief said...

don't pretend w/ your husband. be real w/ him. this is the time... don't wait until he's gone and wish you had done differently.

remember... he is your husband. you love him and want to be w/ him right? then pack the house, get your papers ready... do what you need to do. just do it.

you're obviously a strong woman. now is your time to shine.

my last advice, don't get rid of anything that you really want to keep. you'll just regret it later. send it to your parents or put it in storage.

8/09/2007 10:47:00 PM  
Blogger Maxxed`ouT said...

I hope your life will get back on track asap...

8/10/2007 04:04:00 AM  
Blogger doshar said...

ma3lesh ya loulou, it is a hard time for you, ISA it will pass quickly, and believe me your husband will appreciate this from you for a long time to come ISA. and the internet can help a bit with the separation... good luck and rabbena ma3akom ISA.

8/10/2007 06:21:00 PM  
Blogger 2 B || ! 2 B ® said...

This is really overwhelming good luck loulouuu, and u can do it, actually u have no other choice, so just do ur best and leave the rest in god's hands…

8/10/2007 08:24:00 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

Lou Lou,
I so wish I could somehow comfort you and tell you that all these dramatic changes will work out happily in the end. All I can do is send you my love and remind you I am here to listen if you need me.

8/13/2007 02:48:00 AM  

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