My husband to my friend D. as I approach them at Trader Vics last night: Istani bas ya D. lama ashoof mirati labsa eh.
Then to me: Ya nhar abooki iswid eh da?
Me : My new dress.
Him: Wait a min. That's the dress you made me pay for?
Me : Yep.
Him: You bought this with my money? What the **** is holding that thing up?
D. : Women have curves K. Curves hold clothes up.
Him: Ya3ni inti 3agbik illy hiya bti3milu?
D.(to me): It is a bit much ya LouLou.
Taking pity on him, I pull my scarf on. I was starting to get cold from the AC anyway. Besides I knew I'd have to cover it in the end. It would have ruined his evening. Was just in the mood to torture him a little.
Him (a little later): What was that about?
Me : What?
Him: That stunt with the dress when you came in.
Me : Payback for the last time you made me leave a party at the stroke of midnight. Am not Cinderella.
Him: Well if you want a late night out that was like the worst move ever.
Me : Why?
Him: When a woman wears a dress like that the implication is that she wants a late night in.
Me : Not me. When I want something I don't imply. I demand.
Him(smiling for the first time that evening): Ya wad ya gamed.
Damn. That smile is one of my greatest weaknesses. I started to feel butterflies, breathless, weak knees, the works. And self-conscious. Less sure of myself. Being a woman feeling less sure of myself automatically translates into feeling fat. I was suddenly cringing inside, wondering if I should have risked that dress, if I was really thin enough to carry it off etc.....
Me: Well the dress is covered up adequately now I think. You can relax. Sharafak bi-aman.
Him: Sharaf eh ba2a? Dana ana min yom ma itigawiztik winti Allah yinawar. Mara ti2artaseeni wi tinzili finsas il-layali wana nayem. Wi mara ti3mili striptease odam madeenit Abu Zaby wa dawa7eeha.
Me : What's ti2artaseeni?
Him: Ma ti3rafeesh ya3ni eh ti2artaseeni?
Me : La.
Me : Ya3ni asa'al ghairak?Inta awla wala elghareeb?
Him: La ana awla tab3an ini afahimik ya3ni eh ti2artaseeni.
And he actually refused to tell me. We both started talking to other people and I forgot all about it. I just remembered I still don't know what that word means!