Saturday, August 26, 2006

My husband to my friend D. as I approach them at Trader Vics last night: Istani bas ya D. lama ashoof mirati labsa eh.
Then to me: Ya nhar abooki iswid eh da?
Me : My new dress.
Him: Wait a min. That's the dress you made me pay for?
Me : Yep.
Him: You bought this with my money? What the **** is holding that thing up?
D. : Women have curves K. Curves hold clothes up.
Him: Ya3ni inti 3agbik illy hiya bti3milu?
D.(to me): It is a bit much ya LouLou.

Taking pity on him, I pull my scarf on. I was starting to get cold from the AC anyway. Besides I knew I'd have to cover it in the end. It would have ruined his evening. Was just in the mood to torture him a little.

Him (a little later): What was that about?
Me : What?
Him: That stunt with the dress when you came in.
Me : Payback for the last time you made me leave a party at the stroke of midnight. Am not Cinderella.
Him: Well if you want a late night out that was like the worst move ever.
Me : Why?
Him: When a woman wears a dress like that the implication is that she wants a late night in.
Me : Not me. When I want something I don't imply. I demand.
Him(smiling for the first time that evening): Ya wad ya gamed.

Damn. That smile is one of my greatest weaknesses. I started to feel butterflies, breathless, weak knees, the works. And self-conscious. Less sure of myself. Being a woman feeling less sure of myself automatically translates into feeling fat. I was suddenly cringing inside, wondering if I should have risked that dress, if I was really thin enough to carry it off etc.....

Me: Well the dress is covered up adequately now I think. You can relax. Sharafak bi-aman.
Him: Sharaf eh ba2a? Dana ana min yom ma itigawiztik winti Allah yinawar. Mara ti2artaseeni wi tinzili finsas il-layali wana nayem. Wi mara ti3mili striptease odam madeenit Abu Zaby wa dawa7eeha.
Me : What's ti2artaseeni?
Him: Ma ti3rafeesh ya3ni eh ti2artaseeni?
Me : La.
Him: A7san.
Me : Ya3ni asa'al ghairak?Inta awla wala elghareeb?
Him: La ana awla tab3an ini afahimik ya3ni eh ti2artaseeni.

And he actually refused to tell me. We both started talking to other people and I forgot all about it. I just remembered I still don't know what that word means!

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9 Comments:

Blogger Alluring said...

It is originated from the word "ortas" you know the cone shape-like thing, like a horn.

So do the math ;)

8/27/2006 12:29:00 AM  
Blogger Maxxed`ouT said...

ya ..
to 2artass someone is to make an 2ortas out of him ...
but i really don't know how is that supposed to be offensive .
2aratees are really quite cute .. let alone handy !

8/27/2006 01:27:00 AM  
Blogger La Gitana said...

I don't know why they use 2ortas as an offensive thing, but ti2artaseeni means to make me looking like a complete useless fool.

8/27/2006 02:48:00 AM  
Blogger 2 B || ! 2 B ® said...

lol, you really need an Arabic slang course, First Lesson:
2artas, ye2artas, 2artasa

Te2artasee wa7ed, ya3ni te3mileeh 2ortas “cone, i.e. 2ortas leb wala termes”, which means that you do whatever you want (usually contradicts with the other person’s opinions) regardless what the other person think or even tell you…
In other words: ka inno kees gawafa ma3aky we inty bete3mili illi inty 3ayzah (hopefuly you got his prespective)

We ya 3ini 3alek ya K :) rabina yekon fee 3onak :)
P.S. I told you when you went out late that night without notifying him, you some how crossed the line, yet you have your reasons and he understood them.

8/27/2006 04:03:00 AM  
Blogger Herlock Sholmes said...

Bottom line, you should not have put that scarf on. I was at Trader's Vic as well... didn't notice anyone wearing a 2artassa" dress though :(

8/27/2006 11:41:00 AM  
Blogger DNA said...

2ortass - although a cone for seeds and what not - is considered derogatory because it refers to the action of wearing an 2ortass on your head when you're a "dunce." Yes it transcends cultures. So, a man is said to have an "2ortass" if he is a certified idiot, or the town's blithering fool. He is the laughing stock of his comrades if you will.

When a man has been "met2artass" it means he has been made a dunce by the behaviour of a second party. I would say "et2artast" if I got hard shafted on a sale for example, or if my friends lured me into a trap I should've seen.

Similar phrases that imply the same meaning are:

"Merakeb dish" which is a misnomer because it means "I broadcast my news to the world" when it should mean "I receive news from the world." The phrase can be used to replace "2ortass".

"Zis is CNN", again, usually said by a man who has "lost his pride" because of a second party's behavior, usually a woman.

"Shayfani 2amar sena3ee?" Do you think I am a satellite? Refer to phrase 1 above.

"Aerial" which literally means "aerial" and again, refers to the first phrase noted above.

Walaho a3lam.

8/28/2006 12:39:00 PM  
Blogger Twosret said...

DNA,

You have a phd in a'ratees?

8/29/2006 02:29:00 AM  
Blogger DNA said...

Yes, and a M.Sc in 2aryala :)

8/29/2006 10:26:00 AM  
Blogger SYehia said...

Hehe. Glad to see everyone is informative about the subject. Just trying to help huh. *Bethadu el nefoos ya3nee"

8/29/2006 12:20:00 PM  

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