Thursday, April 13, 2006


We were on the phone all night yesterday. Long distance. And he said we talk too much, it's crazy, he doesn't spend that much time just talking with anyone other than me, it's not him. So I ask him so you don't have long conversations with your friends? He says not personal conversations. Not that long. Not without being high. I say what? And he says that nothing makes him open up like decent weed.

So he used to smoke weed. And he has nothing bad to say about it. He says it was part of the high school & college experience. That it was just part of being at that age. He even asked me didn't you? You never tried it?

What could I say? I went to high school & college too. I went through that age. But not only have I never tried it. I've never seen it. I've never been around anyone who did. Contrary to popular belief, I spent 5 years at college in the US & I was never exposed to drugs. No one I knew did drugs or admitted it to me. No one did drugs infront of me. No one tried to sell me drugs. I say contrary to popular belief because no one here believes me when I say that, that it was not all one wild beach party, that it was actually a lot of hard work, that we had to STUDY.

All the people I knew there worked like 3 jobs to pay off their expenses & spent the rest of the time studying. At weekends & holidays we'd all go out & they'd get drunk & I'd wind up being the designated driver. Because that's something else I never tried. I liked watching others get all silly & giggly. Was never even tempted to try a sip. But it was funny to watch. And nice to be around happy party people. Except when someone would throw up in my car - which was also my brother's car. Disgusting & not easy to explain to said brother. Thankfully that didn't happen too often. But that was about it.

The weirdest thing is hearing him mention that so casually shook me so much I didn't respond. I didn't know what to say. So today I went around asking everyone I saw or talked to if they'd ever tried drugs. And I found out that my brother did, two male friends, my friend M's husband, my uncle T. all did. And it wasn't just guys either. Some of the girls did too. Am looking at everyone around me with new eyes now. I feel like I missed some party that everyone else went to.

So it wasn't that I didn't know anyone who did it. I just didn't know they did it. Don't know what that says about me. That they wouldn't even tell me. That I wouldn't notice.

I know this is something in the past now. For all of them. My husband doesn't drink or smoke anymore. The worst he'll do is smoke sheesha maybe once every month or something. He doesn't even drink tea or coffee that much because he's long since turned into this health freak who's into working out & eating healthy. And he prays etc....

And yet it upsets me. It wasn't expected. I didn't think he was the type. I just didn't. It's something else that makes us different.



Blogger forsoothsayer said...

nehda dude. i'd be willing to wager that most of the men of ur acquaintance have tried it. I and pretty much EVERYONE of my acquaintance has, and many are regular users (even the friends in egypt). it's really really no biggie. it's not a momentous admission by any means.

4/14/2006 04:16:00 AM  
Blogger Me ® said...

i'm 22 and i never tried smoking a cigarette or sheehsa
*drifts away* bas betla3 bnefsi ada5en when i'm stressed

Anyhoooo :)... Upsetting yourself over a phase that was over long ago is not worth it ... even though it wasnt expected .. why care about the man he used to be yesterday if he's better today. I think almost every guy tried it btw ...

4/14/2006 11:26:00 AM  
Blogger GC said...

Weed is not a big deal at all. It's easier to stop weed than it is to stop smoking cigarettes. At a certain phase of my life, everyone around me used to smoke hash, and I smoked along on occassion, and it was enjoyable at the time. But it never really changed who i am or made me a different person.

4/14/2006 01:31:00 PM  
Blogger Drima said...

True weed is not addictive... I think it is the cultural perspective that makes drugs seem so baaadd... In Islam however intoxicants whatever they maybe are sinful to consume... I guess you were just too naive but hey no big deal... Hope u dun mind me looking around your blog LouLou...

PS: am jz wondering... are u sudanese or libyan? coz am sudanese... salam

4/14/2006 10:19:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...


Am Moroccan. And you're welcome to look around. But I should warn you this is not a political blog or a cultural one. It's a personal online journal. Hence the name Renderings of Me. Hope you won't find it boring.

4/15/2006 08:30:00 AM  
Blogger Jane said...

Lou Lou,
I used to really smoking marijuana when I was younger. I found it to be quite relaxing--it also made me laugh at nothing. I liked it. Don't feel too left out. It just makes you silly, is all. You can get nearly the same effect from a good massage on an empty stomach.

4/15/2006 08:43:00 AM  
Blogger Leilouta said...

Hi Loulou,
I want to ask your permission to quote your comment about your great aunt "the belly dancer" in a new post.
It touched me and I would like to share it.

4/15/2006 06:10:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...


Feel free. Anything you like.:)

4/15/2006 06:55:00 PM  
Blogger shlemazl said...

Well, I am 36 and never tried "weed". Don't think it's a major problem if someone has done it in the past and gave up. Suspect it's not much worth than alcohol in small doses.

Still, I wouldn't try it cause I am afraid of this stuff.

4/18/2006 07:52:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...


I'm afraid of it too. Glad am not the only one.:)

4/18/2006 08:48:00 AM  
Blogger Libyan Violet said...

Loulou, don't worry you're normal lol I never tried drugs, drinks, smoking etc.. and I still had a great time with my friends at university abroad ;)....

4/18/2006 02:02:00 PM  
Blogger moi said...

Hi Loulou,
My first time here and I really enjoyed reading your blog.
I don't think you're sheltered. I've lived in the US most of my life including elementary, middle, and highschool as well as college, and have not had friends who smoke weed or other drugs. Personally I simply try not to surround myself with people who advocate that kind of lifestyle, although I do know that it has become widespread and even "normal" for many.
I don't think there's anything wrong with going to college without smoking, drinking, or doing drugs; you can definitely still have fun without those things :)

4/19/2006 07:02:00 AM  
Blogger Maxxed`ouT said...

I'd hardly classify weed as a "drug"
I dun think u could ever get dependant or hooked up on that !
I've done it for almost every day throughout my adolescense .. and now am clean .. no biggie !
It's funny u never tried smoking up .. since u're moroccan and all
you guys have like THE best hash ever !

4/28/2006 06:16:00 AM  
Blogger Crazy Girl said...

I've never tried drugs, I don't even know what they look like. I was too busy working and going to college I didn't really start drinking until I finished college. I know my twin has tried it and of course my brothers have. Plus I don't think I can afford to loose any more brain cells!!

4/28/2006 10:17:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...

Maxxed Out,

"you guys have like THE best hash ever !"

That's what my big bro said! He said he used to do it in Casa but stopped when he left because he couldn't find the same quality anywhere else.

I wish we were famous for something good.:(


"I've never tried drugs, I don't even know what they look like. "

You go girl!That makes two of us.:)

4/29/2006 10:09:00 AM  
Blogger Maxxed`ouT said...

the couscous !

4/29/2006 06:58:00 PM  
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3/13/2007 08:54:00 PM  

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