Sheltered?

We were on the phone all night yesterday. Long distance. And he said we talk too much, it's crazy, he doesn't spend that much time just talking with anyone other than me, it's not him. So I ask him so you don't have long conversations with your friends? He says not personal conversations. Not that long. Not without being high. I say what? And he says that nothing makes him open up like decent weed.

So he used to smoke weed. And he has nothing bad to say about it. He says it was part of the high school & college experience. That it was just part of being at that age. He even asked me didn't you? You never tried it?

What could I say? I went to high school & college too. I went through that age. But not only have I never tried it. I've never seen it. I've never been around anyone who did. Contrary to popular belief, I spent 5 years at college in the US & I was never exposed to drugs. No one I knew did drugs or admitted it to me. No one did drugs infront of me. No one tried to sell me drugs. I say contrary to popular belief because no one here believes me when I say that, that it was not all one wild beach party, that it was actually a lot of hard work, that we had to STUDY.

All the people I knew there worked like 3 jobs to pay off their expenses & spent the rest of the time studying. At weekends & holidays we'd all go out & they'd get drunk & I'd wind up being the designated driver. Because that's something else I never tried. I liked watching others get all silly & giggly. Was never even tempted to try a sip. But it was funny to watch. And nice to be around happy party people. Except when someone would throw up in my car - which was also my brother's car. Disgusting & not easy to explain to said brother. Thankfully that didn't happen too often. But that was about it.

The weirdest thing is hearing him mention that so casually shook me so much I didn't respond. I didn't know what to say. So today I went around asking everyone I saw or talked to if they'd ever tried drugs. And I found out that my brother did, two male friends, my friend M's husband, my uncle T. all did. And it wasn't just guys either. Some of the girls did too. Am looking at everyone around me with new eyes now. I feel like I missed some party that everyone else went to.

So it wasn't that I didn't know anyone who did it. I just didn't know they did it. Don't know what that says about me. That they wouldn't even tell me. That I wouldn't notice.

I know this is something in the past now. For all of them. My husband doesn't drink or smoke anymore. The worst he'll do is smoke sheesha maybe once every month or something. He doesn't even drink tea or coffee that much because he's long since turned into this health freak who's into working out & eating healthy. And he prays etc....

And yet it upsets me. It wasn't expected. I didn't think he was the type. I just didn't. It's something else that makes us different.