Sunday, August 28, 2005

Jealousy

Is jealousy a sign of love or insecurity?
Am jealous of his mother.
I think it's a sign of insanity.
Help me. I think am losing it.


Feeling a compulsion to see them again today. Maybe things will be different this time. Maybe last night was a one-off. Maybe it was all just a bad dream.

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24 Comments:

Blogger haal said...

La'a this is habl, pardon ya3nee ya oukhtee.

Too possessive, are you?

8/28/2005 10:02:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

haal,

i guess i am.

8/28/2005 10:03:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

All this time I was afraid that SHE will be jealous of ME. Thought she might turn out to be one of those possessive mothers. Or she wants him to marry her niece or something.

But today I met her. She is perfectly nice. And I was jealous.

8/28/2005 10:11:00 PM  
Blogger roora said...

El sara7a ya Loulou , this doesn't sound like you ,

why are you jealous aslan ? does he ignore you for her sake ? I don't think so

8/28/2005 10:13:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

roora,

I don't know why. Am shocked at myself.

It's just that he so clearly loves her. Not just a mother-son kind of love. They are so close.

For 2 hrs I sat with them & I felt like they were a family & I was the outsider.

Just kept wanting to get away from them.

8/28/2005 10:21:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

"does he ignore you for her sake ?"

He didn't ignore me. I think he forgot I was there.

8/28/2005 10:32:00 PM  
Blogger haal said...

Then you were jealous because you were ignored. This is it, I guess. Maybe now that you will worry about trying to be 'better' than his mother and be 'like her' , will worry lest you wont be up to her standards in how he sees her....etc.

I think if u go into this direction you are gone baby!

Loul, watchout and be grounded! You are perfectly fine.

If you felt ignored, just find an excuse, a valid one: they have been away for so long--so it is normal to stick to her.

Relax!

8/28/2005 11:12:00 PM  
Blogger roora said...

Loulou, don't forget that he doesn't live with them and he must be more compassionate than the normal with her when he sees her, she must be feeling the same way too

I don't like actually men who totally forget about their mothers in the presence of the one they love.

IT is totally DIFFEREENt , frankly the only thing that counts , if he changes his opinions for her sake and she is the one who is ruling down your life with him , as some mothers do , but as long as she doesn''t , and I don;t think he is such a type of man , so don't be upset then

8/28/2005 11:17:00 PM  
Blogger doshar said...

loul, she is his mom, she always was, always will be, DO NOT put your self on opposite sides with her and make him choose who to love more. he won't like it and he won't choose you..

remember a while back you were talking about you going to his clinic everyday and not seeing your friends? that was the problem, your whole lives can not be exclusively about each other, there are other people in both your lives, and you have to give them their space.

of course this is your first time to experience this with him, because he was alone here, but remember when you once didn't go out with him because you felt bad for not spending time with his family?

btw, a man who is close to his mom like friends would respect women and understand them. chill out shewayya

8/28/2005 11:23:00 PM  
Blogger Mohamed said...

Allah yekoon fee 3onak ya K. yabny! Estelem ya 7elw.

8/29/2005 02:02:00 AM  
Blogger Gilgamish said...

common loulou, just take a chillin pill and relax.

8/29/2005 06:00:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...

Didn't take any pills. Just went to bed to try & sleep it off. Not sure if I'd describe myself as chilled out or relaxed.

Last night he called me right before I fell asleep. I told him you shouldn't be talking to me on the phone & leaving your mother alone. He said she was sleeping. Then we talked for about 30 min - about her mainly. Managed to dodge all direct questions about how I liked her.

This is so freaky. I mean I don't get jealous of girls who flirt with him. Sometimes he would get a little pissed off because I never get jealous. Wonder what he'd say if I tell him well guess what I do get jealous after all!

8/29/2005 07:57:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...

Mohamed,

"Allah yekoon fee 3onak ya K. yabny!"

Allah yekoon fi 3onno howa?Tab wana?I'm the one who's suffering!

8/29/2005 08:02:00 AM  
Blogger roora said...

Hmm , well maybe he wants to check that you wil be in good terms with his family especially if he knows about the jealous trend among the wives and the mothers in law. Maybe he had seen some cases like that before .

8/29/2005 12:08:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

roora,

I really don't think he has anything on his mind or that he senses a problem yet.

8/29/2005 02:39:00 PM  
Blogger Mohamed said...

Ekhzy elshetan and bring your husband's mom a nice gift.

Then spit three times to your left to keep the devil away :)

8/29/2005 04:29:00 PM  
Blogger roora said...

Mohamed that is funny :)

YOu know ya Loulou, you reminded me by my ex - fiance , the first time we talked together in private , he told me that it is essential for him in his choice of who to marry that she should be in good terms with his mom , But i wasn't upset actually because of his circumstances in thattime ,

but I am wondering what would beof been your reaction if K had told you that ! :)

8/29/2005 05:22:00 PM  
Blogger Me said...

I think being a little bit jealous is quite healthy ... as long as you don't over do it ... and as long as it isn't "destructive" ..I think it's ok...you'll get over it ya loulou ...you're just not used to him giving someone else "serious attention"..

8/29/2005 06:05:00 PM  
Blogger roora said...

me , y3ni eh , jealousy is healthy ?

8/29/2005 06:42:00 PM  
Blogger Me said...

Roora, I mean healthy for the relationship in a way ...I think "moderate jealousy" sort of makes something "tingle" inside and unconciously gives a feeling that the person cares..

8/29/2005 08:24:00 PM  
Blogger roora said...

ahh yes , for the other partner I agree with you

bass that as long as it doesn't sophisticate

8/29/2005 11:30:00 PM  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

I have to add my voice to all the others and say that you are a bit tired and you need to relax ;) Take it easy loulou and think of it in a different way ... put yourself in K's shoes and imagine him telling you that he is jealous from your mom or dad and that he thinks you give them more attention than you give him ... wouldn't that sound weird and raise a PAUSE flag in your relation with him ?

loulou parents are so important in your life with K for now or later they will play a big role in your Home Sweet Home with K. You'ld better keep a good relation with K's mom for it is better for both of you. Remember that K will treat your parents the same way you treat his "3amil kama tou3amal".

please make sure that K's mom won't feel your "weird and temporary" jealousy for that would start building barriers and i'm sure you don't want that. At the end your family tend to take the shape you and K mold and not what his or your parents mold.

take it easy and enjoy these short days you will see her and the gift would be a great tension reliefer among both of you even if it was "a flower" it would show how grateful you are for her having the son who is now the love of your life or even YOUR LIFE ;)

Best wishes ;)

8/30/2005 12:55:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...

roora,

"but I am wondering what would beof been your reaction if K had told you that ! :)"

If he told me that before I met her I would have agreed.
It would have seemed natural.

I think me & doshar got it. Am the closest person to K here. Am used to that feeling - like the two of us move in our own circle & everyone around us are in other circles.

Yesterday with his mother he was in a different circle with someone else & I was locked out. Someone else was closer to him than me. The whole time they were talking about people I don't know, places I've never seen, memories am not a part of. It made m feel like the part of his life he shares with me is so small.

It's not that I hated her or anything. Just hated feeling so excluded from him. It was like a slap in the face.

8/30/2005 01:16:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...

About the gift my mother also says we have to buy her a present. We just haven't decided what yet. Tomorrow she's going to come to our house & meet my parents.

8/30/2005 01:19:00 AM  

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