Saturday, May 20, 2006

House Help

The idea was that the person I decide to leave my child with has to be someone I've known for a while & feel I can trust. She needs to be found now so that by the time I decide to have a baby I know her well enough. That's what I SAID anyway. Didn't actually go out & do anything about it. Just mentioned it to a few friends & acquaintances & then forgot all about it.

Last week one of my husband's best friends who is in the process of leaving UAE for good asks us if we'd like to take on his children's nanny. She's an offer we can't refuse because she's been 'tried' by someone we know & by all reports she's reliable, responsible, loves kids & kids love her. Furthermore I like her too. She's smart & sweet & very pretty in that dainty, feminine way that Filipino women have.

Somehow we found ourselves agreeing that she could come & stay with us while we transfer her visa & finish processing her papers. And she arrived yesterday.

What can I say? Neither one of us can stand not having the house to ourselves anymore. The idea that this is someone who is here to stay for GOOD - not just a few days - like his sister or my Mom. We feel so restricted.

That's the first problem. The second problem is we don't have any work for her to do now. On weekdays the only meal we eat at home is dinner. Usually I cook & he cleans up afterwards. We enjoy it. It's part of our 'quality time'. We do it when we're too tired to go out to eat. If we felt like being served by a third person we'd just go out. So she can't cook. I don't want her to.

We also hardly ever entertain at home. Usually we meet our friends outside.

She could clean. But then again how dirty can two adults get the house? Usually I wash our bathroom everyday. And in the weekend we vaccum & polish the furniture, change the bedsheets etc...together. It takes us less than 2 hrs. The owner of the building sends someone to wash & shine the glass about once a week & clean out the balcony so that's not our responsibility. The kitchen we clean as we use.

Let's face it we don't need a cleaning lady. Or a cook. This woman is here to take care of hypothetical children we haven't even started to plan to conceive yet. Talk about planning ahead! It's too soon. Everyone says we'll regret it if we let her go because decent house help/child care is so hard to find etc....

And we've already made a commitment sort of. Am feeling kind of sorry for her. I mean she hasn't done anything wrong & it can't be nice to get fired for no reason after you think you've found a job. Plus he promised his friend so that's kind of an embarrassment.

But we both want out.



Blogger forsoothsayer said...

i have MANY ideas. first, stop cleaning the house. stop making you bed! there are probably numerous things you don't do often anyway, like dust and polish surfaces, wash the kitchen and bathroom floor, clean inside the oven. she can do them!
also, she could cook you guys fun snacks and cakes and stuff you can have in the evening.
wish we had a maid. we're filthy.
but dude what if u have kids like 5 years from now?

5/20/2006 08:44:00 PM  
Blogger Maxxed`ouT said...

Well do you have a driver ?
She can sleep with the driver .

5/20/2006 10:18:00 PM  
Blogger Libyan Violet said...

I have no ideas to offer on this one ya Loul because our housekeeper has her own place with her husband in our garden, so she is only in the house for certain periods of time. However, I can assure you you would be surprised how things can become familiar and you won't bother about privacy once she becomes part of your household. I wish you the best ..

5/20/2006 11:15:00 PM  
Blogger FreudianSlip said...

or if you know anybody who's in need of a nanny, can't you pass her on? (that sounded so wrong, i know)Unless that goes against your contract.

5/21/2006 08:17:00 AM  
Blogger LouLou said...


"but dude what if u have kids like 5 years from now? "

Exactly! Or 10 years. Or never.

"wish we had a maid. we're filthy."

Do you want her? Really?

Maxxed Out,

No driver. And no am not hiring one for her to sleep with!

Libyan Violet,

Privacy IS an issue right now. We liked having the freedom to walk around naked without the maid accusing us of sexual harrassment. Now I have to get dressed before leaving my bedroom. It's just like when I used to live with my parents. :(

We don't have a garden. Damn. No driver & no garden. You guys are making me feel deprived.

Freudian Slip,

We're trying to find her another home. I don't mean to make her sound like a pet but she's pretty picky about who she'll go to work for so it's got to be someone we know pretty well. Can't send her somewhere she's going to be abused or not paid her salary etc...

No contract yet. She's still on her previous employer's visa. We have until they leave to either give her a contract or find someone who will.

5/21/2006 12:23:00 PM  
Blogger aroundtheclock24_7 said...

Would she consider to work in Sharjah? If she does, then drop me an email and we will discuss further :)

5/21/2006 12:28:00 PM  
Blogger Cliche~ said...

No u have to get rid of her.. i mean now its a matter of just being annoyed about privacy but the more time passes the more it ll drive u crazy...

And i know how ppl say u have to take that opporunity coz its now or never...But it really doesn';t work that way.. u can't plan ev thing to be synchronised,,leave that job for fate... n ev thing will work out when u do end up deciding to have kids..

If its really hard to get rid of her.. maybe give her an "open ended vaccation" where u pay her half the money... till u find someone else to take her?

5/21/2006 07:12:00 PM  
Blogger tota said...

If you don’t need her now then don’t have her now, who knows after 1 year what may happen … maybe she would like to return back to her home, or anything else may happen … my aunt hired 3 in less than 2 years but it was another story, they work for her .. get into Islam, then they decide to return back home and she just help them with anything they need, and one of them already married and returned back to her family, what I want to say that you cant guarantee that you will have her forever, and when time comes you dunno u may find the perfect nanny at then.
and just try to help your friend in finding a family who in need to her.

5/21/2006 09:50:00 PM  
Blogger Twosret said...

I'm a bit confused your child? I haven't read your blog for ages so please update me.

No live in Nanny for me I can't compromise my privacy. I do live out only. I agree with you it does restrict your life.

I stayed home as a professional with my babies and wouldn't do it any other way.

5/22/2006 09:47:00 PM  
Blogger Twosret said...

oh now I got it it is a future plan to have a baby. It is hard to let go of someone you trust and with the qualities you mentioned but, I think it is too early and you might want to stay home with the baby and enjoy the best years of your life.

5/22/2006 09:51:00 PM  
Blogger forsoothsayer said...

i think finding a maid when you actually get pregnant is time enough to prepare.

5/23/2006 12:41:00 AM  
Blogger haal said...

I think you should let her go. find her another friend to borrow her or somehting. i see the cleaning errands you and your husband do together are great and it is 'quality time' as you said. having someone in the house, even if she is in her space, is a heavy load by all means. plus in the future you will find yourselves escaping sitting in your house to only avoid her.

5/23/2006 10:23:00 AM  
Blogger tooners said...

get rid of the maid and hire someone part-time if you need them. we are having the same prob... but, i'm also facing maybe black magic issues. not sure... i should be taking the advice here and get rid of our girl.

the only thing w/ part-time is that you have no one in case you have a party - but we're like you, don't do that a lot.

5/27/2006 12:11:00 PM  

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