Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Waiting

I can never sleep when I am waiting for something to happen.

My husband isn't sleeping very well these days either. We're both waiting, worrying about the same thing.

Night after night, we lie side by side, too exhausted to even talk or touch. We leave the TV on 24 hrs a day now. And we barely know what's on at any given point.

I don't let him leave the house without me either. I am too terrified of going into labor while alone.

Sometimes I regret not having gone home for the baby's birth. My mother really wanted me to. And I guess I let her think I would for a while but in the end, I wanted to be with my husband for this. I know only too well what it's like not to be with him and it's not something I feel up to now.

So now my mother will be arriving on Thursday. I hope she makes it here before anything happens. I wonder how that will go. Mama and I are both high-strung and prone to anxiety. At times of crisis, we drive each other crazy. And I know she is worried about me.

But she is also a doctor and at least on medical issues, she tends to have a calming effect on me because she generally knows what's going on and that it is never as bad as I fear.

When she is actually on the scene, though, it will be interesting to see if it is the professional in her or the mother that will win out, if I will be more her patient or her daughter.:)

This is my first sleepless night without K in a while. He crashed about half an hour ago.

I feel abandoned. At some point, I know I'm not going to be able to keep from waking him up. But I will fight it as long as I can. I know how tired he is.

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7 Comments:

Blogger Néphèle said...

it is amazing how excited i feel about sb i don't know, apparently watching one's life like this is highly effective :)
all best wishes

3/31/2009 09:27:00 PM  
Blogger Just Jane said...

I know you are probably nervous and excited by please try to rest. Your body is going to need it to get through labor, delivery, and post-partum. Your baby will be fine and so will you. I've been checking in every few days to see if your son has arrived yet. Don't worry, dear Lou Lou. Everything will be fine. And keep us posted!

4/01/2009 02:38:00 AM  
Blogger nido said...

I'm so happy and excited for you:) rabna yi'awmik bissalameh, you and yr baby!
having your mom around you after giving birth is going to be just fine, no matter what! My mom wasn't there for me when I gave birth, I thought it's going to be ok without her but I was mistaken! moms are lots of help and love!
soon you'll be one.

4/01/2009 06:58:00 AM  
Blogger Safiya Outlines said...

Salaam Alaikum,

Don't worry, insha Allah everything will be fine. I was six days late with Oreo who weighed a massive 4.2kg and we were fine.

Top tips: Eat fresh pineapple (not tinned) and have sex. Sorry for the bluntness, but it does helo push things along.

4/02/2009 02:56:00 AM  
Blogger Me ® said...

inshallah t2oomi bel salame :)

4/02/2009 01:24:00 PM  
Blogger Sam said...

there is a big chance that u wont go into labour on your own..do not worry about labour usually lasts long...(unless u r like me)..remember to walk walk walk...this website was so helpful this last time when i actually went into labour on my own..http://contractionmaster.com/
i dont beleive it is time already...your baby will only be 3mo younger than mine? dont worry..u will be fine...at least u r not at risk of going into labour during a snow storm!

4/03/2009 09:06:00 PM  
Blogger Maxxed`ouT said...

lessa?
:)

4/07/2009 01:33:00 AM  

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