Monday, June 04, 2007


So I've been in Europe for 10 days. Business trip. Got back the day before yesterday. It's strange how much more exciting and enjoyable such trips are when you're single and living with your parents. Now they're just a dreaded inconvenience.

Have I lost my passion for travel? Don't I want to 'see the world' anymore? I guess I do but not on my own. There I've said it. I kept beating myself up about it but sadly said self remained imprevious to such violence. I think the feminist in me is officially comatose. Not only did I miss my husband in a further demonstration of my utter & dysfunctional emotional dependance on my partner, I also missed our apartment. A lot.

I find I can't exist in a single room anymore. I grew up living in a room in my parent's house. When I was in the US for college, I had a room in my brother's apartment. When I went home (Morocco or Algeria) for holidays to visit my relatives, I stayed at a room in somebody's house - usually a grandparent. Everywhere else I've ever travelled I've stayed in a hotel room.

Then I got married. I experienced having a whole apartment to call mine and do as I wish with. Khalas. Am now a new woman. My previous history is no more. A single room cannot contain me anymore. Everywhere I go, I want 3 bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, a balcony & 2.5 bathrooms.

Am so glad to be back. So glad I decided to skip work yesterday. Just like that. Switched off my cell. No call, no show. It was great to feel I can. Freedom is a beautiful thing no?

Life being what it is though, I happened to go online very late last night and found this email:

Dear L.,

I have been trying to reach you on your cell phone no.xxxxxxxx but it appears to be switched off. I believe you were expected at the office today Sunday 03 June 2007. Dr.xxxxxx(My Manager's Manager) has some urgent work for you. Please contact the office asap.

HR Manager

So of course I stressed about it the rest of the night & failed to get any sleep.



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