Is it Just Me Or Does Everyone?
1) Have attacks of guilt for sometimes loving someone more than someone else? The husband more than the parents. A sibling more than another sibling. A parent more than the other. A best friend more than another best friend etc....
Does everyone go through what I go through trying to regulate my feelings and share them out so everyone gets what I think they deserve - and failing miserably? Is it just the Libran obssession with the scale getting to me?
2) Feel sadness over having lost their virginity? Sometimes I start thinking that I'll never be a virgin again and it makes me sad. I don't know. Like the end of an era or something.
My husband says it would have been a lot sadder if I had never lost it. Which is what he WOULD say. And insensitive as it might be, I do recognize the logic inherent in his argument.
But I still can't get rid of the feeling that I changed in some irreversible manner and will never be the same again etc.....
3) Write long, technical reports in their head? If it is an idea I'm excited about and can't wait to get started on, I can actually set out the entire report, title by title, paragraph by paragraph, complete with formatting and bulleting and tables as I lay in bed under my duvet staring at the ceiling for HOURS. I can picture preambles, conclusions, the table of contents and how I want it organized etc.....I can do detailed analysis, specs, BOQ's, I can draw flowcharts, models and diagrams in my head. I've been known to work a half-day in the weekend without getting out of bed. Sometimes without even opening my eyes.
While I am in the middle of that, I cannot concentrate on anything else. I have to finish it.
Then when I get up and start to type, it feels like typing something you've already written by hand. It takes no time and zero mindpower.
This is an eternal disappointment to my other half who tends to feel that if I am under the covers staring at the ceiling then I should be fantasizing about him and therefore expects to be regaled with detailed and creative sexual fantasies as soon as I come out of my reverie when all I want to do really is get to my keyboard and start typing before I forget everything.
I can only hope that our marriage will continue to survive the strain.
4) Actually enjoy dental floss? I do. I love cleaning my teeth with floss. It's something I do to relax. And I love cleaning my ears with cotton earpads too.
I can never picture life without my dental floss and my cotton earpads.