A Corpse, A Vegetable or An Imbecile
Me : 7abibi?(My love?)
Him: Ma t2oolish 7abibi(Don't say 7abibi). Ana mish 7abib 7ad.(I'm nobody's love.)
Me : Laish tayeb?(But why?)
Him: Kida. Ana 2arfan minik asasan.(He's saying he's pissed off/sick at/of me.)
Me : Come on. You think this is easy for me? I'm frustrated too.
Him: Inti tistahli. Ana zanbi eh?(He's saying I deserve it but he doesn't.)
Me : Ana astahil?(I deserve it?)
Him: Allah mish di afkarik elnayara?(Isn't this your bright idea?) Ishrabi ba2a (Don't complain).
Me : Allah yisam7ak.(God forgive you)
Him: Ya sitti. Allah yisami7na kolina.(God forgive us all.)
Me : Tayeb hat bosa. (Ok give me a kiss.)
Him: La ana khalas mish batbas.(No I don't want to kiss anymore)
Me : Na3am? So you're saying you want to have sex with me without even kissing me first?
Him: Mana ba2ali isboo3 mi2adeeha bos(He's saying he's done nothing but kiss me for a week now). That's not enough foreplay for you? Da inti moftariya.
Which made me laugh so hard I inadvertently scratched his arm.
Him: La ba2oolik eh dawafrik 3ashan bagheer wana lama bagheer bastaghba.(He's telling me to watch my nails because he's ticklish/oversensitive & won't be responsible for his actions etc...)
Being scratched really turns him on. I think he harbors secret fantasies about felines or something.
Me : Sorry.
He pulled me close. Forgetting what he said about kissing, he kissed me.
He went back to switching TV channels with me in his arms. Was fairly content with that for a while. Then I wanted another kiss. Said so.
Him: Eh wana mish lissa mideeki wa7da? (Didn't I just give you a kiss?)
Me : Please.
Him(kissing me): Khalas kifaya 3laiki kida(Ok that's enough.). Masma3sh sotik tani.(Not another word out of you.)
Me : Please don't be mad at me. I just don't want you to hurt yourself.
Him: Hurt myself how?
Me : I mean if we have sex before you're completely recovered.
Him: Leh inshallah(Why)? Nayem ma3 bulldozer(Am I sleeping with a bulldozer)?
Me : Well I can be a bit rough.
Him: 7abibi, inti how much do you weigh? 60 kg?
Me : 62.
Him: Ya3ni ana law ka7ait titeeri(So if I cough you'll be airborne). O3odi sakta bas(Just be quiet, ok?).
Me : Luckily for you, I am not that weightless.
Him: Luckily leh? Da inti tnawareeni. Min fo2 wala ta7t , ay itigah ya3ni kolo fol.
Him(all confused innocence): Yes dear?
Me : Behave yourself.
Him: Yes Mother. Ba3dain ta3ali hina. How do you know I'm not completely recovered?
Me : Are you going to work tomorrow?
Me : Did you go for your swim today?
Me : Did you go to Friday prayer yesterday?
Me : I rest my case.
Me : Look, I'm just scared ok?
Him: 3arif ana film elro3b illy inta m3ayisha nafsik feeh(He says he knows the horror flick I like to live in). What can I say? You're a hypochondriac.
Me : You know I really don't appreciate attempts to make me sound like a hysterical female who just imagined your illness.
Him: And I really don't appreciate it when I AM sick & people treat me like a corpse, a vegetable or an imbecile. If I say I feel up to something, I expect you to listen.
Me : Fine.
Him(suspiciously): Howa eh illy fine?(What's fine?)
Me : I get the message. My concern for you is something you see as a burden. Fine. I will try to control it. Or at least to keep it to myself.
Him: Thank you.
Me(crying at this point) : And if you still want to have sex, it's ok. Just not right now. I need time to calm down.
Him: Yeah, I'd say the mood is pretty much shot to hell right now. Take all the time you need.
Me : Thanks. Can you let me go now? I need to be by myself.
Funny but I was in his arms the whole time. I can't believe he can talk to me like that when he's holding me. Or that I let him hold me while he did it.
This is a convo where I started out laughing and ended up crying. I've written most of it down and everytime I read it, it hurts more.
Marriage is not for the faint of heart. It struck me today that he and I have had fights over practically every significant issue or event in our life together so far. My miscarriage, his illness, his friends, my social life, finances, parenthood etc...Everything seems to strain our communication lines. And the area of 'landmines' or issues we have to skirt around or avoid altogether because they're too sensitive or explosive - that area keeps growing between us. I don't know where this ends. Will we run out of things to fight about at some point & finally have some peace? Or will we run out of patience with each other first?
It was so much easier before we got married. And the saddest part is - I think we're more in love now than we were then. Isn't it sad when the more you fall in love, the harder it is to understand each other?