Kissing Game
In recent days, two of my girlfriends have bought new cars. Both are new drivers. And both have no bf's or husbands - thus no one to run errands like taking the car to be registered, riding with them their first few times on the road or responding to an SOS when they're driving around & around because they can't figure out how to squeeze the car into any available parking spot.
Everyone knows am not the stuff driving instructors are made of. I simply don't have the patience. I started driving so early - long before I got my license. And I just taught myself by going out with my friends to the Ladies Beach & driving their mothers' cars and by driving my brothers' and my cousins' cars every year when we'd go home for the summer.
When I did take the compulsory driving lessons you need to get your license here in AD, they consisted of driving around while the instructor ate takeaway or gossiped on her mobile.
As a result, the very concept of driving being something you could teach someone is hard for me to get my head around. If am in the car with someone and they make a mistake, I go ballistic. When am in my car and other drivers make a mistake, I go ballistic.
So never ask me to teach you to drive. I'm not SAFE.
However, like a good friend, I volunteered my husband to help. He didn't mind. He got to drive 2 very nice cars and show off his driving skills to two very nice girls who are both suitably grateful and won't shut up about how sweet he is etc....
Infact if they don't shut up about it pretty soon though, I think am going to EXPLODE.
Let me give you an example:
Yesterday, the two girls offered to buy us dinner to show gratitude. One arrived safely. The other got stuck and couldn't park her car. So of course, he went downstairs to help. She came up - all gushy and gooey about him. And I managed to keep my proud wifely smile firmly in place. Barely.
When he arrived a few minutes later, having had to drive around a bit to find parking, the two of them were instantly in transports over his chivalry, his amazing driving skills, his generous heart, his sense of humor, how he made driving so much fun and had them in stitches the whole time etc.... And of course he was basking in it, turning on the charm big-time. I started to wonder if I was really needed. The Mutual Admiration Society seemed to be proceeding just fine without me.
One of the girls - we'll call her B. - is Lebanese. Her elder sister is actually a good friend of mine but you know how it is. When you're friends with one sister out of 3, you end up getting the other two for free whether you like it or not. All 3 sisters are gorgeous incidentally.
So there he was explaining some parking technicality to her and the conversation went something like this:
B. : Merci kteer. 3an jad badak boseh.(Thank you. I want a kiss)
Him: Inzili khodi bosa howa inti sgayara?(Come on down and get one. The 'come on down' was because he was sitting back on the couch and she happened to be standing at the time.)
So - giggling and going all red - she leans down & kisses him on the left cheek, giggling some more and complaining about the stubble. He said something to the effect that if he'd known she was going to kiss his cheek he would have shaved. Which was just infuriating because he's been growing out a beard for about a week now and I've been getting all sorts of skin scratches, scrapes and burns and I NEVER complained and he never offered to shave for ME!
Upon which the other girl - a Moroccan I'll refer to as F. - complains that she is jealous & wants a kiss too.
Him: Illy 3ayez 7aga yeegi yakhodha.(Anyone who wants anything should come and get it.)
F. : So you don't want a kiss?
Him: Ana mish ha2ool la bas mish ana illy 3ayez.(I'm not saying no but I'm not the one who asked.)
F. : Should I kiss you on the right or the left?
Him: Ya basha inti ti3mili illy inti 3ayzah. I7na ta7t amrik.(Essentially he was saying she should do what she likes, that he's at her service.)
More giggling. I was ready to burst at that point. I knew he was deliberately speaking in Arabic because he knows they love the Egyptian accent and sense of humor. I didn't think he was being particularly funny but they were laughing at every syllable.
So F. gives him two kisses - left first, then right.
Him: Tab el7amdullilah(Thank God). Ana kont khayef la elyimeen yikoon feeh 3aib ma 7addish 3ayez yiboos feeh(I was getting worried there was something wrong with the right side of my face, that no one wants to kiss it).
More giggling, eyelash-batting & other pukey stuff.
Then my silence must have made itself pronounced.
B.: K, how about L.(Me)?
Him: Wi di 3ayza soa'al(There's no question)?Di sa7bit bait. Teegi fi ay wa2t tboos wi trawa7(She can kiss me anytime). Mish mi7taga minha isti'izan(She doesn't need permission).
The last thing I felt like doing at that moment was to kiss him. The options were more like:
1) Slap his face
2) Scratch his eyes out
3) Kick him where it hurts
4) Make him sleep on the couch for the rest of his life
5) All of the above
Labels: Marriage
posted by LouLou @ 3:00 PM
26 Comments:
LOL! That took some self control on your side! I'm surprised your claws didn't come out! :)
The best part is the way he was like a purring kitten enjoying it!
LOL
For some men the need to flirt is like their need to breathe. Knowing this however does not make having to witness them in action any less vomit-inducing.
hehehe.. i don't think i would've been able to sit through that! i don't think i'd be offering his help anymore either...
i think if i was in your shoe, i would of slap the girls
or tell them frankly feeh eh
i cant hold myself :) beside i dont know what would you do with K?
Laa bas begad I am shocked !
Loulou, I think you should speak out with K. I feel from your posts that K has sense of 7aram things that shouldnt be done. I guess this is from where you should approach . This is the main problem and not the jealousy:)
I'm curious to know how you resolved this with K. Lovely writing style, by the way.
Zed,
One thing is for sure. I can't give him the satisfaction of seeing how much it got to me. That would encourage him. Makes the ego trip that much more complete for him. My husband is nothing if not a show-off/ego-maniac etc...
There are other ways to get him back. If this is the way he wants to do it, well, two can play at that game.
I vote for all of the above :D
Try nails in the girls eyes that works best lol!
Heh, I like your husband!
LOL! If it were me, I would have gone for the All of the above option :)) But then again, I can be pretty mean and bitchy in such situations, therefore I am not a good example!
"There are other ways to get him back. If this is the way he wants to do it, well, two can play at that game."
Being a Scorpio, I say 1)show him that two can play that game 2) do "all of the above" 3) talk to and hang out with your guy friends for longer than he feels appropriate
4) give other men haircuts 5) start giving one of your male co-workers (who has a car) a ride to and from work
And since I'm a fan of communication as much as I am of revenge, explain to him that this is only the beginning if he continues to choose to flirt with other women (and these are merely the consequences of flirting in front of you)
LoL ;)
I would kick his ass! Seriously, all the above would be done.
I see that most of you wont agree wiht me, but i think its not his fault, he was trying to be nice, and didnt want to be rude to the girls.
The mistake is girls'. Tell me which "normal" girl from/in "muslim" country will say that to Married MAn this is first and second in presence of his wife. I am sorry, instead of husband i would talk to the girls and say that you dont accept that attitude towards your husband.
I am sorry, they are your friends, but they are totally wrong per my opinion. He was being nice to them showing all driving, and how did they pay? put him in a very delicate position with kisses, the other jealous, why should she be jealous, go PARK your CAR!!!! :)))
That is my opinion
Cheers
Puppy.
Puppy,
According to what you're saying, if someone offers me drugs and I ACCEPT his offer then it's the offeror's fault!!
Everyone will come across different kinds of people who will try to involve him in different situations. Wether to get involved or not, it's completely up to everyone. Others cannont be blamed for my choice to get involved.
I hope you got what I'm trying to say.
And by the way, Loulou, I love your blog.
puppy,
it is always men and women fault. if we applied what you say, then loulou can do the same for example with k. 's friend in a similar situation.....ofcourse not!
"Tell me which "normal" girl from/in "muslim" country will say that to Married MAn this is first and second in presence of his wife. "
this situation is not accepted even if the man was single from the islamic point of view. But I agree with you, that they aren't normal girls... there were some sort of baga7a :)
Loulou,
"I can't give him the satisfaction of seeing how much it got to me"
it is normal that it would get to you, it wont be normal if otherwise.
OK, so I see what Puppy is saying... these girls should not be requesting such things of your husband even if they are just being playful...they put him in an awkward position and he was just trying to make light of it, but I also see what Docell is saying because I've always wondered why women get mad at the woman who is making advances on her man and not her man (if he goes for it, that is) because it's your man who owes you his loyalty, not some random chick (but in this case these girls are your friends; therefore, i feel they were inconsiderate of your feelings and inappropriate)
INDICAN,
"I've always wondered why women get mad at the woman who is making advances on her man and not her man (if he goes for it, that is)"
I don't get mad at the woman. He's my husband. He's the problem. Even if I take a baseball bat and beat up those two girls off him, what's to tell me that he won't act the same way with another two girls I don't know about when am not there?
It's the fact that he thinks he can be married and still flirt that is the problem.
As for the friendship thing I can't say I feel terribly betrayed by either of them. They're not that significant. One is the sister of a friend. The other I know because we're both Moroccans and we both grew up in Abu Dhabi and our mothers know each other. We'd meet socially - which I'll definitely be avoiding from now on - & we'd occasionally do each other favors if it doesn't take us out of our way too much - which is a thing of the past now. That's it. I don't expect undying loyalty from them or anything.
Hi LouLou,
I didn't mean that *you* get mad at other women etc... I was actually thinking of other people I've heard talk about issues concerning girls hitting on their boyfriends etc and the bf doing something because of the advances... I blame the boyfriends and always wondered why their girfriends always stayed with them, yet wanted to "kick that girl's ass"... I just always found it illogical that their solution to the problem was to go fight the girl or go talk to the girl instead of dealing with their own boyfriend
As for the girls, I could tell by your post that the girls weren't close friends and that you aren't heartbroken or anything :)
I'm sure you've already discussed your concerns with K or you're planning on it soon... and I'm sure he'll understand where you're coming from... and if not, I stand by my first comment ;)
lol, In order to complete the scenario both should kiss him simultaneously on each cheek :) 3alshan yekon Haroun El-Rasheed :)
Any way as you have said “However, like a good friend, I volunteered my husband to help” so don’t get upset because of the consequences:)
And -in my opinion- K handled this in a very funny and polite way, you are the one who should do some action to prevent the whole situation, you figure it out :)
Just one advice; don’t oversize this situation; just think about a prevention plan for now to avoid any future occurrences :)
LouLou,
Your "friends" (and I use that term lightly) were very inappropriate and out of line. Perhaps your husband could have handled the situation differently but it seems to me that he was stuck in a difficult position. Had he been cool and aloof these women would have probably taken to calling him rude and ungracious. While I agree that he should have been more sensitive to your feelings your "friends" are really to blame in this situation.
Docell,
Sorry for replying late i am on vacation in London :)))
But the thing about drugs is different. Taking the drug or not is ur responsibility, "proposing/demanding/wishing a kiss" from married man its girls responsibility. There is nothing i see as a K mistake. They have put him in the very delicate position which smart women should avoid of doing.
I am sorry in my world and my understanding a husband of myfriend is someone i will NEVER flirt with. Its totally Taboo. They did say that may be because they didnt care that much for the friendship they have with LouLou.
That is all. They were wrong and what he did, may be wasnt a good way of avoiding, but seemed to be the better per his opinion than pissing off the "friends of Loulou", and to Loulou he can always explain and she is his wife they love each other.
Women are very sly, they know what they do and its always their mistake in such things. I know what i say, i am female myself:) The girl friends are WRONG big time.
Roora,
thanks for support and yes i agree with you that such behavior is not accepted even if the man was single from the islamic point of view and from human point of you.
Indican,
"I've always wondered why women get mad at the woman who is making advances on her man and not her man" I agree if there would be cheating in the meaning of CHEATING i agree, the husband is to blame, since if not that woman he would go for another, but this situation is different, so the girls to blame.
Thanks to everyone and sorry for late comments.
Puppy,
I know some women are sly. Some men are sly too. Do you think the situation he was faced with here has never happened to me? Maybe the details are different but I also came across pushy men who flirted & tried to embarrass me into accepting their advances or at least not rebuffing them. Even before I got married, I knew how to say no. He should know how to say no too. If I ever encourage someone to flirt with me because I don't want to seem rude and my husband knew of it, do you think he'll accept that it was the guy's fault and not mine?
I know the girls were wrong but that doesn't interest me because I'm not married to them. I'm married to him. And I won't accept that everytime a woman tries to do something wrong with him he'll let her because he's too embarrassed to say no or because he thinks it wouldn't be macho to say no or whatever etc....That means he'll only behave himself if all women around him are well-behaved & it means our marriage is dependant on other people's good behavior or lack thereof. Which is crazy.
LouLou,
I absolutely agree with you and with what you say. He should know how to say no, and be tough no matter what impression he will leave as long as you will be happy. And i think as i said in your Limits post, you need to talk and pretty much of what you wrote can be addressed to him.
Once i had incident, a friend of mine was flirting with my b/f, and he was flirting back, i managed to see the smses, yeah i know its not good but i need facts before making a decision. My friend she didt know that he is my b.f actually, and instead of blaming her i blamed him big time, was very tough and said "wont allow anyone to fool me", i heard excuses like "she is flirting not me, i dont want to be rude" then i said he has 2 ways - 1st to stop flirting/smses right there, or to change his choice to her, where i also added "i dont mind, she is good girl and friend of mine".
I know as for the girl she is still a good friend of mine, she is funny and innocent:)
To sum up, talk to him and let him address your concerns.
well i wouldn't have allowed it in the first place, meaning i would have went (7eilek 7eilek enty we heya or inta we howa in my case) you allowed it in the first place and you offered his help with the lessons in the first place without him asking and you didn't object to the kissing.
it's okay you got mad and it's great that you kept your cool infront of the girls (for both your and his sake)
i hope you set the rules for next similiar incidents and i hope he learned his lesson
talk it out with him too, the faster you do so the less stuff accuimilates
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