Thursday, September 08, 2005

Sad

Today my bro A., his wife S. & their 3 children aged 6, 4 & 18 months left to begin a new life in New Zealand. Will miss them a lot.

It's a bittersweet time. On one hand am happy to have K. On the other hand it almost feels like my family is breaking up. We lived our whole lives away from our homeland(s), away from our extended families & so in a sense we only had each other. But look at us now. A couple of years back my oldest bro & his wife moved to France. Now A. & his family are off to New Zealand. In December my parents & my younger bro & sis are moving back to Morroco. I'll still be here. It's a daunting thought.

More than anything I'll miss my 2 nieces & nephew. My oldest bro has a daughter I've only seen a couple of times. She's adorable but it's not the same bond as A.'s kids who were brought up practically in our house. Distance weakens family ties which is sad. Wonder if the kids will remember us. They're so young.

Am a little worried about my mother. She hasn't stopped crying since yesterday. This is tough on my parents. When you have 5 children you don't expect to be alone in your old age. I mean they won't be alone. My younger siblings will be with them but still it can't be easy for them losing 3 of us.

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9 Comments:

Blogger roora said...

I know how you feel ya Loulou , I always think the same about my nephews and niece , when an arranged marraige comes up with some one who has the possibility to leave.

But on the other side , i can see my 2 cousins travelled to arabian countries and their kids remembered me and i am only ttheir mother's cousin, and same goes for their sisters and brothers.

i.e. Bondage can be strong and may remain strong especially with the advanced technology in communication (emails, messengers and the webcam , even the phone calls are cheaper internationally now) but it needs effort and will and determination from both sides that bodage would remain strong.

And dn;t wory you will see them in vaccations and why not agree on having common vaccation together and see each other all at certain peiods of time in the year?

Btw , sometimes people in the same country ( your relatives ) and because you don't care or don't have the will to remain up the strong bond , it ends up that you may be in contact with them less than those who are abroad.

cheer up !

9/08/2005 03:14:00 PM  
Blogger Gilgamish said...

hey loulou,

I'm so sorry to hear that, family scattering all around the world seems alot common nowdays unfortuantly, it seems that jobs ie. money source is determing the fate of "where" to live to some people.

I think if we honestly want to stop such thing, its either we fix our original countries or fix the screwed up system, two of them are not viable in our lifetime.

well , everyone wants to live a good life, and this good life comes with some sacrifices, all you can do now is wish your brother a good life and hopefuly to keep in touch...

but weird why nz, did ur brother apply for immigration there, its a nice, laid back country by the way, his kids will have a better future there than the uae....but could your brother in France help your other brother to go to france, or the brother that went to nz help ur borther to go to nz, so both can be in one spot. and probably ur mother and father can get helped from ur brothers and work in one particular place?

like my mom adviced my uncle to apply immigration to canada and he is doing that, and we have our old friends from baghdad in canada and in the same town and we seem them regularly, since we also helped them out in here. Its almost like a chain...

i know its not as easy as it sounds, but probably if they had the goal to be together it would probably happen in the long term, but again ppl get used to the places the they have lived for along time and change could be really hard especially for young teangers.....

And you are married now, you will be busy with your life , it will get easier with time, it is gona be like a natural transition in your life, like i can't imagine how my mom have not seen her mom for years, even though she loves her mom alot but ppl get used to it..
and dont worry, you will see them on special occasions and you will be having a place to crash both in nz, and france , i mean how cool is that , i think thats awesome :)

yala you take care for now :)

9/09/2005 12:36:00 AM  
Blogger doshar said...

ma3lesh ya loulou, matez3aleesh. my heart is with your mom. internet does wonders in communications so it won't be too hard ISA

9/09/2005 02:03:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

Gilgamish,

You're right. We need to fix our original countries.

My bro's biggest concern was that he wouldn't be able to provide for his children the living standard that he had. Here in UAE it might be possible but the problem is that there's no security here. They can tell you to leave at any moment. You can't build anything permanent.

He's married to a kiwi. That might be why they chose NZ.

My other bro didn't really mean to immigrate. He went to France to teach & finish his phd. But then they had their daughter there, & they both love their jobs & have their friends etc.. I have a feeling now they're pretty settled there -although my parents hope that he'll think about going back to Morroco with his family when he's done with his phd.

Keep remembering how when I was little no one at school could mess with me because I had 2 older brothers. All the different ways the two of them always tried to protect me from my own stupidity growing up. All the fights that we had because I was never very grateful for all that meddling.

And am very influenced by my bros you know. The library we have at home that I grew up reading was mostly their books. They were the people I went to with questions, debated with etc...Until today we read the same sort of stuff & tend to have the same opinions on most issues.

What can I say?Will really miss them.

9/09/2005 05:35:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

roora,

"And dn;t wory you will see them in vaccations and why not agree on having common vaccation together and see each other all at certain peiods of time in the year?"

Yes this is the only thing that is cheering me up. In January when K. & I get married they will all be there.

And of course you're right that it's a lot easier to keep in touch these days. ISA I hope we will.

9/09/2005 05:39:00 PM  
Blogger LouLou said...

doshar,

"my heart is with your mom."

Allah yisalimik. Yes my mom's situation is difficult. You know Mama is not Morrocan. When she goes with my Dad to live in Morroco he'll be going to live among his relatives - but she will be going from ghorba to ghorba like she said.

On Friday she was saying that when she was young she lived away from her parents & brothers & sisters & now she is old she is having to live away from her children. She made us all so sad & guilty.

Anyway this mood is not like my mother. She doesn't usually talk like that. We hope it will pass.

9/09/2005 06:31:00 PM  
Blogger Me said...

isA ya Loulou Rabena ye3mel elli feih elkheir .. I know what you're talking about here .. about the family getting scattered...we lived all our lives away from our homeland too ...and now my big bro and his family are somewhere ... me and small bro somewhere ... and parents somewhere else !!! so they're alone ..AND in ghorba :-( But God has his ways ... and we're adapting el7amdulilah...fixing up webcams and downloading skype ... big bro chatted with my mum for 2 hours on skype the other day just as if they were in the same country chatting on the phone :-)
isA everything will be fine ... it may take a little while to adapt but eventually you all will isA ... is2alli me-garrab :-D

9/09/2005 06:58:00 PM  
Blogger haal said...

Loul,

I am sure you will cop with these changes. At some point everyone has to go on with his/her life. It is life. Some people have the luxury and bless of living in a large family, close to his parents, brothers and all the loved ones; others also have the other bless of separating and moving apart and yet stay warm-hearted and feeling the bless of the love they feel for their beloveds and dear ones. In both cases, the heart will always remain warm....and it is not easy in both cases.

9/09/2005 09:26:00 PM  
Blogger Twosret said...

I have moved seven times overseas. I can totally relate to how you and your family feel.

Time is the only solution for everyone to adapt to their new life.

Best wishes to them in their new endeavor

9/12/2005 02:46:00 AM  

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